Conflict...

I am having some conflicts on wanting to write the blog or not writing anymore. I need to think about that.

While I'm pondering, I wonder how President Obama is doing in his oval office and the first family is adjusting to their new house...

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As much as...

I love spontaneous things, I hate unplanned events. Once again, I know I am not making sense to anyone but I know exactly what I mean.

I woke up this morning and changed my get ready routine so I felt all unorganized but what the hey, right! Anyways, Thursday are slow days at work and I didn't feel like working but I knew I have to so I did my work and everything was going great until people showed up at my desk and evacuated me from my desk so they can fix the hole in the wall that was behind my cubicle. That basically meant I needed to get out of there like YESTERDAY. I get off at 4:30 and all this was happening at 3:30. Does anyone know how much shit I got up in my space? Again this type of spontaneous shit, I don't appreciate!!! I had to move most of my stuff for two days so they can work in that area and I can still be a slave for the next two days for the plantation! And the boss said not for me to get used to it in the office. WTF! Ummm, NO THANK YOU, I'd rather get an office because I get promoted, NOT BY DEFAULT!!!

At the end of the move and the undone work that I needed to attend to, it was 4:45. Dammit, I'm late. YES late! I have got to go home. :). I can't be late on that. All the stress that I had today, if I can have a cupcake with tasty frosting, life would be that much better!!!

Hope everyone had a well organized and better day at work!!!

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Ummm...

I haven't had it for awhile...so delicious...yummy...
If I see the bakery anytime soon, the cupcakes will have no mercy...LOL

So...

I was told I am such a wacko and I don't even know it! What's there to know?! But I know it was said out of love and I accepted. He didn't know any better. I mean I am weird and I can be all wacked out at times but hey who the hell don't. I entertain myself. Its something I do. As long as I don't lose the reality of what my surroundings are, I'm good, I am better than good!

So anyways, I was on the train...I hate it. I was looking around to see if I can find something to entertain myself with. (I promise Enz-ter I would write something) NOT A DAMN THING, instead I saw this guy watching me watching people. How weird was that? How did I even miss him watching me? How creepy was that? I watch people all the times but its creepy being watched! OMFG, WTF DUDE!

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Derailed...

I should be ashamed of myself. Yesterday I wanted all to be about President Obama but i got derailed and bamboozled with all my thoughts. I did try to stay on topic of the day though. I have to give myself some credit, if I don't, who would!

But today, I am back. I can talk about anything I want again although there were no exceptions except I dedicated yesterday's blog to my President. :) I had a little incident this weekend. I wasn't going to talk about it but I am being forced to. I am not going to get into details but I will just talk about what I learned from this. I know that I am not the easiest person to be around but confronting or talking to someone who thinks they are always right is the most difficult thing so I refuse to do it. And as far as I am concerned, it wasn't my fault!

But on the happy note, I am sleepy as ever and have work on my desk and not working again. ;) Talk about derailing... LMAO!

I don't know...

why I started to cry when I was watching CNN this morning for the presidential sworn in. From the beginning 'til the end I shed tears. I am so proud of the President.

Must have been the happy tears...damn, I am emotional! People were there to cheer him on and the love that I felt from them for the president Obama was enormous.

I tried...

to have as rested weekend as I could and for the most part, I did. So rested that I didn't even think updating my blog 'til this morning when I couldn't go to sleep. Did I have lots to write about? Yes! Did I write about them? No! So ladies and gentlemen, yes, yours truly is yet again contemplating right before your eyes.

Since we are on the TRYING subject, I also tried, well that part I don't try much because it comes naturally, to be a good friend to people who are good to me. Most people assume I am not sensitive and they start saying mean thing. I don't want to get into the whole story but I got hung up on last night. I mean I used to hang up on people but it was like 10 years ago. I tried not to do that anymore because I don't want it done to me yet it happened last night. I knew what happened but I truly believe I didn't deserve to be hung up on. Needless to say, I didn't call back.

Why should I? I didn't hang up!!!

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Today...

is the day we have a new leader in our nation. I am excited to come home from work later to see the inauguration. I had a day off yesterday and I watched "YES WE CAN! THE BARACK OBAMA STORY". I was in awe with our president's story. The man has charisma among other things. The way he is with his family, and the people. Every time, I listen to his speech or the way he is with his wife and daughters, the man brings me to my tears.

Am I too emotional or what? But all I know for sure is that I am so excited.

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Contemplating...

is what I do best... Work on the desk??? YES DEFINITELY, but thinking about how to make this blog look more attractive and interesting so I can draw people's interest.
I decided that maybe I will add images and be more creative.

Must Be The Weather...

that I want ROMANCE! It's really funny because I am not looking for it or anything. I just want romance and all that fancy schmancy stuff that comes along with it...

I am starting to forget how to be in a relationship and now I am thinking like a man...being all selfish and stuff. Sorry guys, I wasn't trying to offend you.

I Didn't Know...

I was in the middle of soap opera stars week at Disney World, in Orlando, Florida! Heck, I wasn't aware of it. OMG, shit came down faster than a flush in the toilet bowl.

Let's call this place a "Lime Light"! The reason for calling it because I have never seen such drama queens in my whole life. The same goes for the reason why I said soap opera stars. The place is full of DRAMA!

Well two days ago, at Lime Light, we had a meeting about how things will be running in the operation. So to my shockness, I was pretty much fine with a couple things being changed although I think nothing was really going to change. I saw excited people and unhappy people.

The moral of the story is when people ask for more work, they really don't mean they want more work but to look good on their part and NOT TO TRUST ANYONE!!!

Oh yea, did I mention I'm PISSED off?!

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Different Venues Different Stories...

So I know that this is like my fourth time writing like in a couple hours. Am I overdoing it? HELL NO! I got things to say.

So I got off the train and happy to be on the bus then I can be connected again. So I found myself a seat on the bus. It wasn't packed at all so I was like cool even though I didn't get that one seater by the rear exit! Still I sat by the rear exit and here came this nosy lady from my country asking me bunch of questions. So nosy & annoying. So I answer one out of a hundred question and I was saved by a call. And still I knew she was listening to my conversation and surely enough she will be asking me or answering the questions during my call.

This blog was meant for while on above bus ride but it didn't exactly go that way.

I came out of the house and it's snowing. I felt like making snow angels. It won't be good since I am in my work clothes. ;). Anyways...don't slip & fall.

Have a great day nonetheless...

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Which One?

Is there a difference between kissing & having sex with someone? Of course, there is! Kissing is very intimate and sleeping with someone is less intimate. Or it can well be vice versa. It all depends on the individual...

Speaking of which one, while I'm on the topic, would like to talk about hate, loathe and resentment. Well, hate is pretty powerful word so sometimes I'd rather use dislike or loathe but then there is a RESENTMENT. Of all the words, I would like to use that word. I don't hate, loathe, or dislike, I RESENT HIM!

Months ago like 4 months, I would say I couldn't define my feelings on him or the situation but now they are all clear. I have this resentment towards him. He used to ask me if I hate him or saying things like you hate me, don't you. "No, I don't hate you. I resent you." Now that's the most defined feelings ever! Can you live with that?! And I am not hating. I am just me and this is the way I deal with things. Love it or love it more...it's me!

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Sometimes...

I can be sitting right in front of a whole bunch of work load and I just say to myself, FUNK IT! Yea, I said FUNK! I don't feel like working today. Lately, well most of the times, I have been blogging my ass away from my Blackberry, you know like on the go type of thing. I am not too sure if my addiction is for the blog or the Blackberry. Years ago, I clearly remembered talking crap to my friend about how I don't get BBs and they are retarded. Of course, I wasn't on that shit yet. Now I am so addicted. Can we say KARMA?
Anyways, work versus blog, apparently the blog won hence this blog existed. LOL!

Believe It Or Not...

I went into the Ripley's Believe It Or Not last night like NY Famous Tourists. My cousin & I had a blast in there. At first, I was just supposed to wander around Times Square and wait for my friend like NY Famous Tourists but my cousin called and was willing to come with us.

Earlier in the day, my friend and I made a spontaneous plan to see a movie. Then by the end of the day, since my cousin agreed to come with us, we ended up at Ripley's while waiting. We all saw Seven Pounds. The movie was an okay one. I could have waited for the DVD to come out or the cable. I wasn't too sure how my cousin and friend felt about that. It was sad. We almost shed tears. Don't think for one second that we were heartless. We had teary eyes...that has to count for something.

Anyways this is not to promote Ripley's or Seven Pounds. Just thought I'd share some excitement! :)

It's cold out, stay warm people!

I am having one of those days that I wanted to call in sick before I get up & out of the bed this morning.

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Do me a favor...

I had a weekend full of bliss in many levels. I mean what kind of blissfulness would you want. Snow? Happiness? Sleeplessness? (All types of blissfulness) Giants lost but what the hey! Now back to Monday and not a care in the world and as far as I'm concerned I am still happy even its Monday and all. of course sleepy but happy. The sleepiness will never go away in my world.

I stayed up until 1:30 AGAIN! I think I'm on mission of self destruction. It has got to be. Who else would do it to themselves knowing MONDAY is the first day of the work week. I am hoping there is someone just like me out there crazy enough to stay up. I was up catching up on my shows, bonding with my DVR (the best thing they can ever invent after VCRs) so to speak!

I hope everyone had a blissful weekend...

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So...

I came home last night and I didn't feel well so I went straight to sleep. It was like around 6:30 pm. I had plans to go out but I wasn't feeling well. Some might say I live a granny life but who cares. It's my life and I live as I please. Then I woke up so early this morning with a migraine. I hate those. They don't go away easily. I still don't know how to get rid of them. And I couldn't go back to sleep. But I had the best sleep ever...and that's how my weekend started!

SWEET!

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Boys...

...will always be boys. So when I address the guy, I call him a boy. I really don't want to talk about boys but I felt like starting this blog with that. Once again, I am on the E train. I am so tired and sleepy. I had work to do at work today and I did everything that I needed to get it done. You would think that once I get swing of things, I would be up and about. No not me. I did my work half asleep half awake. Thank goodness for AIM at work where I can touch base with outside world. And I thank everyone of those people who keep my days shorter at work.

So I sat and worked and contemplated on whether if I should go out tonight. I don't want to and I seriously think this whole week is taking a toll on me. I just want to go home and get some zzz. I think that's what I'll do.

Hope everyone have a great weekend...

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The Guy On The Bus...

He has a girl in his arm and kissing her and said "yes, cross my heart" and he did that cross my heart shit with his finger on his right side of the chest. Last time I checked, the heart is on the left side, RIGHT? If only I could take a picture and post that but I don't want to be seem stalkish in public. ;)

I love sharing my stories...as I take my ass home. :)

Good Night All

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If...

If you ever have a choice between sticking to normal routine or change it up as life throws you different curve balls on daily basis, what would you do?

For me, it depends on the situation. There are things I just do normally because I don't want to be noticed. Don't get me wrong, I am an only child so I LOVE attention. I see nothing wrong with that. But sometimes it's good to change it up and surprise the crap out of people or lose them. ;)

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All Things...

Actually I should say all good things must come to an end. Well, I didn't actually say that. Its a quote that I have heard before. I walk my path with no fear and no regrets but sometimes I go by slow and get worried when I feel something good is happening. I don't want it to end. But luckily, when things end in my life, its just because they are THAT bad. So I don't mind ending anything.

Off the topic, there were mice at my job. WTF! I mean I feel like I work in third world country. (Please take no offense in this, I, myself, came from the third world country) I got mosquitoes and mice. So mosquitoes get their feast on my juicy meat while the mices eat away all my snacks away. I had to throw out all my shit from the cabinets today. I was pissed but its okay because maybe they were hungry. And on top of it, the boss said NO EXTERMINATOR! Now really? You can call them. They are all over the place in yellow pages. Hell we live in NY. There is nothing we don't have. Anyways, so we got mouse traps. I am afraid to go into work tomorrow morning and find these little suckers I have been feeding for days are stuck on traps.

On the happy note, there might be a possible date on Friday for yours truly... ;)

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You Own My Heart...

Relationships are funny. It's a hard work and you have to keep working at it. They don't come easy as they seem. Its like the hardest unpaid job there is. Meanwhile, there will be a "he" that wants a break or a "she" that wants some space.

I don't get those things and I don't believe in those things just like I don't believe in dating. I have a hard time dealing the guy would be out with me one night and he will be or even I will be out with another person. So according to me, which you may agree or not agree, everyone is entitled to their opinions, needing space and taking breaks means you want to go out there and do your shit and then come back with no guilt! So after all that said, I might not be able to bank roll anyone I am with but they own my heart if they find a way in and I won't be feeding any bullshit and I don't want to hear it either!

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What Was I Thinking?!

So I had a serious case of mondays since last night. Last night, knowing I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, I still stayed up late and went to sleep at 2:30 AM. So of course, I ran around at work like a robot. I didn't even take my lunch but I made a quick run to Duane Reade. It was around 3 PM so I was thinking it would be an in and out thing. Little did I know, there was a long line to Mount Vernon, okay not really to there but I exaggerated a little. So yes, there was a long line for me to get a pack of sunflower seeds for the birds, okay it was for me, and 24 pack of Poland Spring water. So I looked around to see if they would open up another register. And they didn't and finally there was a guy who came and stood in front of the register. I looked and asked if he was open and he said yes so I was right in front of his register in a hot second. I was thinking this is great it will be fast since the water was getting heavier. He was so slow and I was still okay with that because once upon a time way way back in the days, I was on the register although I didn't find myself that slow. Any who, so the receipt was for $7.88. I gave the man 20 dollars. I was expecting $10.12 back but guess what, it took him 5 minutes to give me back a 10, 2 single dollars and change. WTF, Dude!

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Ahhh...Weekend Bliss

I love it when friday nights come. I look forward to my weekends like that is the last weekend I will have for the rest of my life. I am sure everyone feels the same but I treasure my weekends since there is no mornings, noons and nights as far as I'm concerned. I do as I please.

With that said, when I get calls or when I have to do something when the weekend comes, I get so mad like someone took my last coke. Oh, and speaking of coke, I thought of it and I think that I shouldn't go cold turkey on it. I love it so much that I know its not going to be as easy as I thought it would be. One day at a time and one step after another. Rome wasn't built in one day and Sandhi surely is not built to cut off coke. Well maybe but I sometimes like to procrastinate on shit and this can be one of those things.

I didn't do much today but I am tired from this past two weeks.

Til' tomorrow...

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What A Day!

Back at work today and I barely made it thru the day with 2 hours of sleep to hold me down. But yours truly MADE it! Woohoo!!! Anyways, I was kind of feeling effy on having some drinks with my co workers on so many levels. For one, my cousin from out of town is here, then there was that 2 hours of sleep the night before and then some of co workers are not talking to each other. I really don't feel like being in the middle of awkwardness. But at the end of the day, I find myself being at the bar. (disappointed but I wanted to get some drinks, lol and had a great time after all.).

So the year is going so far so good. Until I turned the phone on and the ex e mailed me. Okay, moving on! Exes will be the ex where they should be left behind!



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Change!

Today, I decided to redo my blog and change it to more sassy side of mine. Same but more grown up and meaningful things...

And I start to write notes on facebook also...

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Random Thoughts...

3 hours away to 2009, surely I am getting excited but I am still traveling in the car. I better get to my destination before the clock strikes midnight. For the past 3 & a half hours, I read blogs from others and think about what I will write about on mine and I prepared for the text I will be sending out when the countdown is over. All I know is that I have got to get some followers for yours truly. Who would have thought I'd be the one who like to write. Well, I don't like to write reports and stuff, but this blog thing, its like my new found love along with my blackberry. Have I mentioned I am addicted to it? Where do I even begin with my addictions? Let me not even start because I would like to enjoy my non-driving journey.

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What A Way To End The Year!

To top the worst part of my year, look how its going to end but I am escaping NY for the night. Woot Woot!!!

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Good Riddens to 2008

I say goodbye to good old 2008 today. Well as for me, the year had lots of ups and downs. The best thing came out of it, I took care of my financial situation! Things that I want to accomplish didn't quite happen. So for the year of 2009, I will put myself first (not in a selfish way), separate work and/from personal life, letting go of things and people who are not worth having in my life (that includes relationships & friendships), cutting down on coke (which I did it for 4 months in 2008, see if I can hold it longer and for the rest of my life, ;) ), no more halls unless the cough was going to kill me in a matter of right that second, finish up my thesis, and get back to the gym so I can be a hell of sexy ass on my 33rd!!! I am sure there will be more but I can't think of anything anymore.

Have a happy and safe new year.

And whoever is reading my blog, THANK YOU!

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I love it...NOT!

I love the fact that the bus driver sees me and still leaves me at the bus stop like I was supposed to be hustling for the bus meanwhile he/she waits for like 5 minutes at the next stop because they are early for their due at the next one. And I also love that people come on the bus and they smell like food that they eat. WTF! And I love it when people read over what I am doing on my crackberry like there is an open invitation for them.

But this is what I truly love, I love it that when my bus driver make the bus flys instead of driving the bus. That would call it "my lucky day"!

Have a great day and weekend!!! Enjoy and happy shopping!

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I'll be fine!

So here was the incident that remind me why I shouldn't be so trusting to strangers...

I rarely have bad judgments on people. So if I see something that triggers me from giving the individual my full trust, I go with that. But not this time around. I go ahead and give benefit of the doubt and all that jazz! And what do I get at the end? A bite in the ass! Yes, I said it! I mean everyone always thinks they know me and think I am very naive. I just have a good heart. But once I find out what everything is all about and if I get hurt in the process of it, I can promise you that they will feel that pain along with me.

But I am so thankful and grateful for the people who have been there for me through thick and thin, no matter what. And I can literally count them with one hand. Not sad but true! I'd rather have 1 person who has my back then have thousands who won't. With that said, I'LL BE FINE! = )

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Scattered thoughts...

Haven't written in along time that's because it's either a lot on my mind that too much to write and don't even know where to begin or it's just been a hollow ground up there. LOL! Yes it does happen to me. I can completely not think about anything at all and retiring myself from anything and everything.

Lately, I have been going to work just right on time. I used to get up early and get there like 30 minutes earlier but as the weather gets colder and the bed gets warmer, Sandhi just doesn't want to get up of course besides the fact that I am not a morning person. I need a mini vacation again. Where should I go? Somewhere cheap, fast and good. There goes those three magical words again.

Work sucks! Just thankful and very grateful I have one. I love what I do but there is no such thing as "HELP" exist there. Oh well, the story of my life!

The only constant thing in my life right now is I AM EXHAUSTED, guaranteed!

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Pissed off!!!

I haven't written anything for awhile not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so much to say and don't know where to begin with. The story of my life. I still don't know where to start but I feel like ranting and raving so here I am. Thoughts might be all over the place so please excuse me if I start to ramble on with my words.

This past weekend, I felt bad because I had to tell someone off on her birthday because she started and brought up about how I am not a good friend to her and her boyfriend said that all she needed was him. If that was only true. Most of the times, he is the one who brings misery in her life, not that his opinions matter to me or what he thinks of me. And she had the nerve to bring this up to me when I called to wish her on her birthday. So of course, I got pissed off and went off on her. But we talked it out and got over that.

And to top of all off, it's been awhile I have been trying to get over with things and I am over it on a certain path that I walked. And suddenly, I feel like I am walking on egg shells. Here I go all over the place. That person feels that they have to spare my feelings and be sneaky around because they don't want hurt my feelings. Well at least, that's what I think they are doing. I am over it and there is no need for you to hide anything to spare my feelings. Just doing that hiding thing is a turn off. There is nothing I dislike more than being lied to and people thinking they are one step ahead me like I am dumb. I am sparing your feelings by accommodating you with "the dumbness".

I am sorry if I was ranting but thanks for reading. You might find it entertaining and disturbing but either way, it's my blog.

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The truth is...

I was presented a question today from a very dear friend. He asked me if I would go out with someone who is taken. So I paused and thought about it. Then he said to me, "Nevermind, you would!" And I was like I had to think because it could be under different circumstances. The truth is how was I to know if someone is taken. They don't come with signs on their foreheads or they might withheld the truth from you altogether. Sometimes, after knowing what you know, it might be a bit hard for you to walk away from the situation also. There are times you just can't resist those moments, what people might describe as the weakest moment of your life, yes I have many of those sometimes and it's a shame. The truth is I am hoping this weakness is going to go away very soon, for my sake. :)

Happy voting day!!!

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Here is a thought...

Does anyone ever feel like you don't want to do a thing or be bothered with anything? Lately, I have been feeling like that. Even with this blog, I feel like I want to write something but I don't know what to write or I have many things to write that I don't know what topic to concentrate on.

I had this weird dream last night, actually the dream came in the morning that it bothered me because I don't know why I dreamnt that. I don't want to say I don't care much about people who were in it but I do have to say that. The whole thing is connected to my childhood and what I'm holding grudges of. Actually, I wouldn't say grudges but I would say something I haven't forgotten. But nonetheless, the dream is still bothering me. I don't want to close my eyes because I don't want to dream the same dream again. But I do need to go to sleep and think happy thoughts before I close my eyes.

Things can only happen if you let it. You have control over your own life and everything. I'm just saying!

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Disappointment

I am starting to think my friend is right about me. I am a Jellyfish...wishy washy and no backbone (only in a certain cases). I know I got a backbone. It's just that sometimes...I get pulled back into things...unhealthy things. And the pull is bigger than I am most of the times and I get sucked in. But to reassure to those who care, I am trying my best but it is very hard. There is a saying for it. I am not too sure exactly what it is but it goes something like "Don't fight the current, go with the flow!" Ha!

Excuse me while I dismiss you out of my life :)

Just to start, I think this mobile blog thing for me is way better than when I can do it in front of the computer. I mean my thoughts are always on the run so it's cool for me to be able to put it on here when it strikes. With that said, here it goes...

People come in and out of your life daily one way or another. Some might have impact on you and some, you won't even know if they even existed. This is what my thought on that. If you feel that someone is useless in your life, not that you are using them or anything, drop them. Why have them in your life? No one is doing the survey or there is no popularity contest here! What I mean by useless is meaning if they don't even defeat the purpose of being what they are supposed to be, why bother! The same concept goes to everything in life. For instance, if you buy something that you don't need but it was on sale, (my mom does it a lot, but I love her), and you don't use it within 6 months, you will never use and you probably don't need it. Got my drift!!!



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OMG!

The weather is changing like we are in winter wonderland. WTH! The only problem I have is that I have to wait for the bus and the winds blows right in my face. Sometimes I wish I still drive to work and my job is like 5 minutes away. This an hour and a half commute everyday is killing me. But I have to be thankful I have somewhere to commute every morning on weekdays, right! So on days like this, I tell myself to suck it up and "Be a Man!, Do the right thing!" And move on!!!

And let's talk about the infamous bus and train rides. I know its a public transportation but there is always some bitch, yes I said it, some bitch thinking she owns the bus or the train and she wants to push upon me. And the EMILY in me comes out early in the morning. Why must you do this to me people? Why don't you stay in your corner and I don't have to get UGLY!!!



But the rest of you out there, enjoy your day!!!

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Saying goodbye to a wonderful memory that will last forever...

It's been awhile since I've written. I have many things to write about but wasn't too sure how to word it. The last thing I want to do is make the words come out all scattered (just like the way I think, LOL).

Today, I feel the need to say goodbye to this wonderful part of my life. I am sad about it but there is not need for me to hang onto. Its always good to hold onto the memories that are good for your soul but I don't think holding onto this memory is good for me. I can't seem to let go of this person who has crossed my path. I tried many times and it keeps pulling me back. So this is kind of like my eulogy of my feelings for that individual. If I can't let go, I can't move on. Then I will be the only one who is stuck in the past. He does seems to be fine and moving on but I keep replaying things in my head and going back to what ifs.

So now I am saying goodbye to all the feelings that I have. I need to move on and I have to move on. It's not healthy for me. No more what ifs!!!

Where is Waldo?

Okay, I haven't been writing for awhile. Not that someone is literally waiting for me to put up something. Recently, I read blogs that my friend wrote and he put me to shame about what I was writing. I mean, he is good. I never knew he thinks so deeply and it goes beyond my expectations but DAMN, I have to give him credit, HE IS GOOD.

Anyways, I went out to eat with a friend of mine last night. And the next thing we realized there was a guy a table away from us started to talk with his mouth full at first and we wondered where his manners were. Then I realized that he didn't have any food in his mouth and that was just the way he speaks. Geez, do it quietly if you speak that way. That was just plain disgusting.

And then a couple minutes later, someone's ass was ringing and vibrating. It was saying your table was ready and please return the device to the host. Then I realized that they were waiting for a restaurant to seat them but they were dining at the different place already.

OMFG!

Who cares what you didn't do, could have done, should've done. It's what you do now and from now on that really matters.

Sometimes, in life, I think people cry over spilled milk. This is my take on it. I mean you can learn and definitely take notes on mistakes that you have done as a life lesson but there is no crying over it. You pick yourself up and go and don't make the same mistake again.

I , for one, have done my fair and share of mistakes. But do I regret them? No not really. I am a fool, aren't I? I don't think so. Sometimes, that's how I learn from my mistakes. Life is a whole experience thing. I can learn from it and move on.

But I know most people, I have to say most because it is most amount that I know in my life, I know still living in that should have, would have, could have world. They can get out of it but they won't. And I still don't understand why. But I know most common thing everyone would say to me, "Your not in the situation so it's easy for you to say!" Hell no. I am not that old but I am not that young either. You learn and grow from your mistakes. You can't live with them. Move on!!!

When did it all change?

Okay, last week, it was still warm and all of the sudden the freakin weather got cold. I am not ready yet. *sobbing* It's so cold outside. *brrrr* I don't even know where my gloves are. :(

I came to work and I put my little space heater on and I am all great but once I walk away from my desk, I know there is a cold wind waiting for my tropical ass. I can be here forever and I don't think I'll ever be used to the cold. I just close my eyes and wish I am on some island catching rays.

I got an offer that I cannot refuse...well alright, I can refuse, but for me to do that, I am not too sure if I gain or loose something out of it. The thing is that can i do it. That's something I should ponder!!!

Good, Fast, & Cheap

If you want something good and fast, it can't be cheap. If you get something fast and cheap, it won't be good. But I bet you I can get something good, fast and cheap... TRUST ME...

I love that three word in a triangle. I think it applies to many things.

Do we get wiser as we get older or we just get sillier?

As we go through life, I sometimes think people get crazier and crazier. I would think that people show get wiser with all the experiences we all go through in life but not an ounce of chance. I guess it cannot be done to everyone. As long a s I can help myself, I am grateful on my personal growth.

A couple of days has been so crazy for me. It was so bad last night. I was so much in pain and I don't know what to do. But then, the sun rise dawned on me and I am a-OK again. Anyways...I am better today. Somehow, I want my palms read immediately!!! ASAP!!!

I can take you out of your misery...

I don't understand why people walk around with their attitude faces on. I mean not that I care but when their attitude is going around the room, hell yeah its effecting me. I just want to come out and ask them, "Shall I shoot you now or later?" I will and I can take you out of your misery. And they get over their shit and then you are supposed to be all lovey dovey with them. That's when I look at them and give them one of my famous expression...DICK FACE!

The Past

Sometimes...I wonder if it's me who has a short temper and low tolerant or others that make me tick. But then me wondering something that is waste of my time, I got over it and I stop wondering. I used to know people when I was younger...people who I used to go to school with to be exact, they sometimes come to me and say I don't contact them or I have a good life. What the hell are they talking about? Are they saying I have a good life because I am in US? Or are they saying it because I am here with my family? Either way it's not my fault. And how do they know if I have a good life here or not? And being in touch with each other goes both ways. I see all of them contact each other. I feel left out and out of loop but do I say something about that...HELL NO! But what I don't put up with it is when they bring that bullshit to me. I don't have time to entertain all that. You either want to talk to me or not. I am not going to sit here and wonder if I was in their thought. Apparently, I was never in their thoughts as well. But no one ever hear me BITCH about anything. SO DEAL WITH IT!!!

Frustration

I get frustrated when I don't get things when things are just simply layed out for me. *FRUSTRATED* It's pouring cats and dogs out there. I hate it when it happens because it ruins the weekend and MY HAIR. LOL. I did my hair this morning all purty and when I got into work...Poof Gone! Then it's freezing out. Summer is officially over. *sobbing*

I can't wait to go back to Burma to see my family. I haven't been back since 1995. That's too damn long.

Today

Things have been crazy in my life lately. Being pulled in different directions and not having enough time to do things. I feel like I need to go to a Time Management seminar. But then, where would I get that time? :) That would defeat the whole purpose of managing time. What else can I do?



But I need to prioritize things. Not to sound selfish but I am going to put myself first for once.

Staying grounded...

Reflecting on whats been happening...

I know for sure it's good to be grounded. Somehow people surrounding me are not grounded much less of being true to themselves. Things like that make me laugh so I stand back and see everything fall into places as the life unfold itself. And there are people who wants to know all about me but when it comes to them, they are all tight lips. Well...as long as I am in the center of their attention, who care about them, right? LOL.

How can one call themselves a friend and do not act like one. You see that is the reason why I do not use that "friend" word loosely.

Today...I decided that I want to be selfish and I just want to please me. I have been going around and trying to please people and not wanting to hurt their feelings so I have become this somewhat of a fake person which I hate very much. I stay true to myself if I can't do it with anyone else. That's the least I can do for myself. That's how I stay ground!!! :)

Trying to find myself...

Like Ciara's song "Promise", I have been single and I am fine with it. But I want to be able to find that special someone. I know I am ready. I don't want to deal with anyone's bullshit. Nevertheless I see the past and people who can't deliver what I want, staying in my life. I need to get rid of all these negativities which won't allow me to grow. For a person who went through enough, I seriously, seriously, don't think I am asking alot from anyone.

I am trying to be a better person also by trying to control my temper. But seems that it is not working. Still trying to find a way.