Wheels are turning...

...I did lots of thinking on many topics this weekend. I thought about the friendships I gained and lost and recover, & what my part take in all the situations, my progress in every aspect of my life and how I can still improve and become a better woman. I am one of those who is loyal and stick with you 'til the end when I get the same responses in return. I know everyone is not perfect but I come damn closed...lol...kidding. Well...I have my flaws and I think to become a better person, the first step is to realize what your flaws are and to be able to make changes from them, only if one wants to, of course.

On a friendship level...

I know I can be the best damn friend anyone can ask for but most of the times, I find myself pulling back because of the past demon haunts me in the most miserable way. I am quite certain there is fault in both parties when it comes to all kinds of relationships but I've come across pretty messed up individuals in my life. And I know it's not the end of it yet. I will meet more of them I am sure of it. The important thing is that how I handle myself with them. And I truly appreciate everyone I met through all sorts of portals. They have been very inspirational and bring positivity to my daily life. I still do very much appreciate and love the constant ones who are in my life to cheer me on and let me have it when I deserve it. Oh and I realize I have lots of frenemies and I can't do anything but love them because they motivate me in a sick way.

On personal level...

School ~ I need to get to my thesis like yesteryear. I know I have talked about it many times on several occasions and I am still contemplating over nothing. UGH! I hate myself for it but I know that has to change immediately.

Work ~ I have made my 3 year mark at my job and I have learned a lot from it.

Home ~ I love my home life and I love my family. PERIOD!

Personality ~ I am short tempered and have no patience but if I didn't, it wouldn't be ME. =)

...okay so this post might sound like as if I have won an Oscar and thanking people but it just is what I was reflecting on this past weekend. Holidays make me all mushy and one emotional mess. Gotta love it.

I hope everyone had the best holiday with your loved ones.

I Matter...

Sometimes, I sit there and think about one person in the world who doesn't give a shit about me. And I get carried away with it and I start to feel sad. That's when I should stop and say to myself, I matter also and why should I be thinking about someone who doesn't give any crap about me. It's a daily battle for me and so far I am losing. I would just like to go a day without thinking about you if I could. But seems impossible. So I say to myself, one day I will be able to not think about you. I have got to start somewhere and take one day at a time. I have to love myself or who else will.

I hope everyone is having a great day. It's after all a Thursday, a day away from the weekend. Although, the weather is crappy.


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Why me?!

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who can understand me. I mean ofcourse that is understatement in many sense. For instant, I went on a dinner date on Monday night and came back all sad and started to cry on Tuesday. I don't know how to explain that sense of sadness or where it came from but I know it existed and it was real.