Wheels are turning...

...I did lots of thinking on many topics this weekend. I thought about the friendships I gained and lost and recover, & what my part take in all the situations, my progress in every aspect of my life and how I can still improve and become a better woman. I am one of those who is loyal and stick with you 'til the end when I get the same responses in return. I know everyone is not perfect but I come damn closed...lol...kidding. Well...I have my flaws and I think to become a better person, the first step is to realize what your flaws are and to be able to make changes from them, only if one wants to, of course.

On a friendship level...

I know I can be the best damn friend anyone can ask for but most of the times, I find myself pulling back because of the past demon haunts me in the most miserable way. I am quite certain there is fault in both parties when it comes to all kinds of relationships but I've come across pretty messed up individuals in my life. And I know it's not the end of it yet. I will meet more of them I am sure of it. The important thing is that how I handle myself with them. And I truly appreciate everyone I met through all sorts of portals. They have been very inspirational and bring positivity to my daily life. I still do very much appreciate and love the constant ones who are in my life to cheer me on and let me have it when I deserve it. Oh and I realize I have lots of frenemies and I can't do anything but love them because they motivate me in a sick way.

On personal level...

School ~ I need to get to my thesis like yesteryear. I know I have talked about it many times on several occasions and I am still contemplating over nothing. UGH! I hate myself for it but I know that has to change immediately.

Work ~ I have made my 3 year mark at my job and I have learned a lot from it.

Home ~ I love my home life and I love my family. PERIOD!

Personality ~ I am short tempered and have no patience but if I didn't, it wouldn't be ME. =)

...okay so this post might sound like as if I have won an Oscar and thanking people but it just is what I was reflecting on this past weekend. Holidays make me all mushy and one emotional mess. Gotta love it.

I hope everyone had the best holiday with your loved ones.

Weekend Recollection 9/18 - 9/20

~ Friday ~

4:30 couldn't come soon enough. I was covering a vacation for a department and one of them called out sick on top of it. FML! But it was all good. There were nothing I couldn't handle. I mean I didn't complain like others. I took it like a champ. Why complain when nothing will get accomplished? So I did what I got to do and ran out of there! LOL. We had a little get together after work with a coworker that left 2 weeks ago. I had a margarita, a Smirnoff and shrimp in the basket to eat. And I took LIRR to head home. That was my night. S0 PG I know but I enjoyed it. I asked dad for a favor to pick me up.

~ Saturday & Sunday ~

I stayed home, cleaned and stayed with mom.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I had many thoughts on friendship. I am not too sure if I am ready to talk about it. Maybe I will blog about my thoughts on it later. I am going to have dinner with 2 acquaintances of mine at Red Lobster after work today. I think at this point I am more excited about food than the company. Am I wrong?

And Jill BBMed me the other day...I might actually meet her on Thursday. We will have lunch if she has time. Now I am excited about that.

I'm in the NJ State of Mind...What a Weekend!

It's Sunday and I got up so early. It's the weekend for my sake. WTH! I have things to do. I didn't even start my laundry yet. I went to the "Yate Thar" and listened to "Tar Yar". I run to the bank and headed to NJ to visit my friends. I had a great time. I got lost as usual when I go to them. I didn't fail at that this time either. LOL! I got home and did 3 loads of laundry. I am tired as hell. I wish I can have some margaritas to relax. Hell I deserve from the way my weekend has started.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

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Friends and "Friends"...

So I haven't written in awhile. As much as I would love to write, I have lots of things happening and so much stuff on my mind that I haven't been able to jot down anything. And I was thinking I didn't want to offend people but then I say to myself that this is my blog. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it. I know they will because there are people who don't even talk to me but they want to know what's going on in my life. That is called nosiness.
I have friends and I have "friends". "Friends", I really don't like. They are fake and phony, hence the quotations. I believe those are the types that I don't want myself associated with. I got people calling me spoiled and possessive. If anyone ever think I am any of those, they are not even my friends. They are "friends". Me being spoiled is like me getting whatever I want and happy with it. I don't get everything I want and if I want something I work for it. I don't get possessive because I don't own anyone. But what annoys me is that people who won't ever get out of high school mentality and they think they are. And if I stop telling you my business because I don't trust you anymore. I would think people get wiser as they grow older but I guess that's too much for me to ask.
This is not for me to explain myself, this is to write my feelings down and how I am feeling. I am disappointed but I am not counting on anyone.

Circle of TRUST...

"Truth, the intersection of all three areas of trust, may be defined as a reliable and unchangeable relationship--a very small region indeed. " ~ James Rist

I've came across many relationships and the main thing in any relationship is whether you can trust the other party or if the other person is reliable. If they are not, then it would be a non existence relationship. What would happen in a long run is that, one would not be sharing anything to another because they cannot trust the other person or the person is not reliable. Then there will not be much of a relationship because the communication will be down. Trust me when I say this. I'd rather have 1 person who is very trustworthy and have my back then have 100 people who you cannot count on.

I hope everyone is lucky enough to have true relationships.

Strange? YES!

So anyways...people usually don't look forward to weekdays especially MONDAY. I was!!! I couldn't wait to go back to work. I have my reasons. And no I am not in love with my boss. LMAO! Well around 9:45 my reason entered! ;) I was so happy. It made all the worthwhile for my excitement. Finally!

Off the topic, this morning when I was getting ready and I heard a discussion on the radio. "Why women don't have female friends?" And the conclusion that they came up was only ugly women have so much female friends and pretty women don't. I totally disagree! I mean I am all about the qualities than quantities. I can have one friend and he or she can be the best thing ever happened to me than having 10,000 friends and all of them are phonies. No thank you! I do have more male friends than female friends. Sometimes, females are too much drama! Sorry girls! Don't get me wrong, dramas come along with males also but they are not as stressful.

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Good Riddens to 2008

I say goodbye to good old 2008 today. Well as for me, the year had lots of ups and downs. The best thing came out of it, I took care of my financial situation! Things that I want to accomplish didn't quite happen. So for the year of 2009, I will put myself first (not in a selfish way), separate work and/from personal life, letting go of things and people who are not worth having in my life (that includes relationships & friendships), cutting down on coke (which I did it for 4 months in 2008, see if I can hold it longer and for the rest of my life, ;) ), no more halls unless the cough was going to kill me in a matter of right that second, finish up my thesis, and get back to the gym so I can be a hell of sexy ass on my 33rd!!! I am sure there will be more but I can't think of anything anymore.

Have a happy and safe new year.

And whoever is reading my blog, THANK YOU!

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The Past

Sometimes...I wonder if it's me who has a short temper and low tolerant or others that make me tick. But then me wondering something that is waste of my time, I got over it and I stop wondering. I used to know people when I was younger...people who I used to go to school with to be exact, they sometimes come to me and say I don't contact them or I have a good life. What the hell are they talking about? Are they saying I have a good life because I am in US? Or are they saying it because I am here with my family? Either way it's not my fault. And how do they know if I have a good life here or not? And being in touch with each other goes both ways. I see all of them contact each other. I feel left out and out of loop but do I say something about that...HELL NO! But what I don't put up with it is when they bring that bullshit to me. I don't have time to entertain all that. You either want to talk to me or not. I am not going to sit here and wonder if I was in their thought. Apparently, I was never in their thoughts as well. But no one ever hear me BITCH about anything. SO DEAL WITH IT!!!