They can call me a drifter...TODAY!

...My mind is racing with 10 gazillion things and I can't pin point on anything particular. Days like this make me really upset and just make me want to crawl in my bed and be held. I am sitting here trying to work and I am drifting away. I haven't felt like that in awhile. So much I want to write about and I can't seem to form sentences.

WHAT GIVES!

When Sadness & Madness collide...

....there is a RANDOMNESS!

~ I wish I dream about my grandmother so I can see her one last time again...my cousin and mom dreamed about her, and now they make me feel like grandma doesn't appear in my dreams because she is upset that I didn't get to see her before she passed. Last time I saw her was in 2003 and she passed in 2007.

~ Work is actually having Christmas party this year. We skipped last year so I wasn't expecting this year at all.

~ I need a change and I am actually going through the process right now. Revamping myself for 2010.

~ 15th can't come soon enough. It's a back to the gym day, pay day and anything and everything else day. LOL!

~ I hated that my dad was asking me where I was last night to pick me up and I couldn't tell where I was because I had no idea which way Jamaica Avenue was located and he didn't know where Jamaica Hospital was. Both of us didn't know where we were. That was pure and full throttle frustration for me. FAILED!!! BTW, that hospital was the most unorganized and ghetto place I have ever seen in hospital. I was horrified.

~ People must think I entertain DRAMA because even when I am running the other direction, they follow. I must have entertained it when I was much younger but not anymore.

~ I am starting to wonder why I have FaceBook and twitter accounts. They create problems.

~ I really can't stand people who portray themselves for what they are not. Now I feel like it's all a front.

~ I know that I am being judged from my blog but whatever. I don't think my blog can define me as a whole.

~ When all things else failed, I will still and always have my family.

~ After thoughts after thoughts last night, I told myself I am not going to let people take advantage of me and my kindness, and won't let things bother me.

I hope everyone is having a great day in this FORKS weather.

To Snoop or Not To Snoop?

In every relationship, there is a bit of curiosity. Now it depends on a person whether to act on it or not. There are times people do snoop around (I know lots of people do) and find what they don't expect or expect and in the end they don't know how to approach a person depending on the findings. Personally, I don't like it when people hide things but everyone has their own rights to do so. But if you are hiding anything, things are bound to come out one way or another. So the snooper or the snoopee will be found out in the end. LOL.

So knowing all that in the back of your mind, would you still snoop? Don't get me wrong, when I was young & stupid, I was both the snooper and the snoopee (shame on me, I know), but now I know better not to even deal with anyone I can't trust.

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Weekend Recollection 9/18 - 9/20

~ Friday ~

4:30 couldn't come soon enough. I was covering a vacation for a department and one of them called out sick on top of it. FML! But it was all good. There were nothing I couldn't handle. I mean I didn't complain like others. I took it like a champ. Why complain when nothing will get accomplished? So I did what I got to do and ran out of there! LOL. We had a little get together after work with a coworker that left 2 weeks ago. I had a margarita, a Smirnoff and shrimp in the basket to eat. And I took LIRR to head home. That was my night. S0 PG I know but I enjoyed it. I asked dad for a favor to pick me up.

~ Saturday & Sunday ~

I stayed home, cleaned and stayed with mom.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I had many thoughts on friendship. I am not too sure if I am ready to talk about it. Maybe I will blog about my thoughts on it later. I am going to have dinner with 2 acquaintances of mine at Red Lobster after work today. I think at this point I am more excited about food than the company. Am I wrong?

And Jill BBMed me the other day...I might actually meet her on Thursday. We will have lunch if she has time. Now I am excited about that.

A Quick Rundown on What's in Store for MOI...

...Work couldn't finish fast enough for me.

...Heading to VA with my cousin. Be back on Sunday. (Details will soon come! Haha, that's the Jamaican in me.)

...Other blogs are giving reviews on items or educational stuff but not mine. Maybe that's why I don't have much followers. (I'm sure I have mentioned that before.)

...Most of the times, people just annoy me. My bestfriend said I shouldn't let anything bother me. I should listen but I don't.

...In need of Nintendo DSi...ok maybe not in need. I WANT IT!!!

...Still contemplating on piercing. (Maybe in October.)

...Want new tattoos.

Have a great weekend everyone. ENJOY!!!

Wednesday Blues...

I don't know what it is lately that I have been bored out of my mind. I don't want to do anything. I feel blah. I have so many wants on top of my head that, that's when I know I am BORED.

I feel sad today. Not on anything particular but I am having that sadness running through me. No matter how busy I get at work, I find myself reading all the blogs I follow. It's like a daily ritual thing. I see some of them give advice, giving reviews, life stories and experiences they went through, their feelings and current situations and such. But here I am, I am not willing to go all the way with sharing all of me YET. But I enjoy reading others' blogs. They are very insightful. Mine is not. :-( Maybe that's why I don't have anyone reading my blog, except for JILL. Thank Buddha for her.... and thank you Jill.

Okay I hope everyone is having a better day than me. :)

Terrific Thursday...

...So ever since Sunday, my life has been work and hospital. It's all about MOM. It should have been like that from the get go.

I got good news today. MOM IS BEING DISCHARGED!!! Yay.

No more hospital sleepovers. Not that I mind sleeping over with my mommy :) but her roommate can be very noisy and smelly. (I know its very insensitive of me.) So now, I can take care of her at the comfort of our own home.

WELCOME HOME MOM, please don't scare the crap out of me ever again.

Ooo, and it's so true what they said about "when it rains, it pours!" The water pipe on the side of the house busted on Tuesday and all my new and old kicks got wet. UGH! I was momentarily insane. But now I am back to normal...or should I just say myself...I don't know what normal is when it comes to me. LOL.

Don't You Wish...

...you can just blog away as you think?... Not a chance! I don't think I will be having any posts on the usual weekend collection. I mean I have nothing to write about. I basically took a real weekend off and didn't do anything.

Here is my rants and raves...

I had lots of altercations at work with insignificant co workers. I know every job has them but this place have tons of them. So I wanted to blog about it but then too angry to even start. So I let it ride.

Friday, we had a get together after work. Good times as always and I think that was where my partying started and ended. I stayed home all day long yesterday and rested. I did a load of laundry.

Last week, I put some highlights to my hair and I got some compliments only from females. Now I always watch out when I get compliments only from females. Anyways today, so I decided I wanted only one tone for my whole head. I colored my hair and I remembered I wanted to catch up with Jill's blog. I am almost done catching up with her blog. I am very happy about it.

...Ode to Jillian...

...Jill is someone whose blog I accidentally clicked onto and realized that she and I are alike in many ways. She is a cool person and an awesome woman.

Anyways...my weekend is winding down and I am not ready for Monday but I am sure Monday is ready for my sorry behind.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

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At The Moment...

1. I WANT a HANK in my life. (Kendra is so lucky!)

2. I want to blog and not blog at the same time. (I am crazy, YES!)

3. I feel like cuddling.

4. Undecided on whether I should keep my iPod Touch.

5. I am not feeling wishy washy people.

6. I don't want to work tomorrow.

7. I love my parents and extended family dearly. (That's everyday!)

8. I seriously need to start doing some exercise.

9. I just caught a mosquito that was bothering the crap out of me.

10. I can't wait to finish my laundry so I can go to sleep.

11. I love my life.

Have a great night everyone.

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Random Thoughts...

I found myself thinking ~

~ how much I miss tracing your face with my fingers (yes, you are still a big deal in my memories and I just might hate myself for it)
~ I don't have to worry about how I would have to look as long as I look fabulous. (feel so good not to have a crush on anyone)
~ I get so annoyed at overly sensitive people (grow thicker skin people!!!)
~ how I am detaching myself from everyone.
~ how I am enjoying myself with what I'm doing right now with the Monastery.
~ how I am not even attracted to anyone right now.
~ I want to take continuing education classes.

...anyhow...

...I am glad the weekend starts after 4:30 PM and I cannot wait for a minute. I have nothing planned for the weekend except my cousin and I might go to the movies and the Monastery (of course!). I need to get father's day card for daddy (last minute, I know). I might have to owe him a gift because I am as broke if not more than the next business person. (shame on me!) But I am definitely looking forward to the weekend so that I can get some sleep that I lost during the week.

I Did What!!!...

I reinvented myself today. I created a new link for this blog. I mean you knew my old one and I don't know if you read it but why tempt you. So I did you a favor and I found me a new name for my blog. Yay me!!!

I feel better today because I am focusing on the wedding. I haven't written a speech yet. I don't know what I'm waiting for. It sucks to be me right now. But as always I believe in myself. I can do this with eyes closed. Lol!

I am on the road on the way to VA. Dad is driving and it's a beautiful thing. I will be knocked out pretty soon. :).

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7:30 AM ...

Has anyone made plans ahead of times and the day came and the plan's haunting? YES! I had things to do today after work and tomorrow for that matter. But it will not happen and I am destroyed by it. I would like to be there where I'm supposed to be. We would have tons of fun. Now I completely understand why I don't make plans because they slap you in the face when they don't happen. Course of life changes everyday and I just have to work with it. Just like life in general, I am still work in progress. I can't wait to see the finishing product.

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Randomly thinking...

I need one of your hugs. They make it easier when the life gets hard. So I keep you with me in my heart.

Random Thoughts...

As much as you would like to think things will change as we grow older, things stay the same. Today, I got a call from a friend's wife. She called my cell because she saw my number on her husband's phone. I still don't blame her but I was kind of shocked. I was bamboozled by her call. I didn't do anything for her make that call to me. She just doesn't have the trust in him, I guess. She asked me bunch of questions like where I was, how I knew him, if I knew he was married and have a kid and when I last spoke to him. For a minute there, I thought I was in court. This chick apparently have no clue what-so-ever. I had no obligations to make her feel at ease with this situation but I did anyways because I pity the fool and put myself in her shoes. Still I didn't have to.

I was busy with Thae Thae's surprise bridal shower. I am glad things went well. The bride was surprised and overwhelmed. Mission Accomplished!

Back to normal again...at least some part of my life is. Although some parts I feel I am settling. Gotta work on those!



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Everyone have their moments...

I haven't blogged since Sunday. I am taking personal time and on some deep thoughts. I have so much on my mind and I don't feel as if I have clear thoughts. I am starting to wonder where I can get one those (clear thoughts).
I have been getting pissed off at little things in the shortest time possible lately and I don't know why I am having this short fuse. There has to be a reason. I'm never for one to not know the reason where things started. LOL...it's that ARIES instinct of problem solving comes into play. I guess I will get to the root of all evils!!! :)

Mood: Shitty

Here is a thought...

Here I am riding the most fabulous F train (NOT!) and I had a thought so I said to myself I should blog this as a self reminder.

So here it goes...I am not going to deal with people who act weird by nature. I don't have time for their weirdness. And I don't want to be around fake people. There is no secret that I don't like people although I have been told I am friendly. Not too sure what they are really seeing. Maybe I am friendly but I have very low tolerance that everything annoys me when anyone catches me in my funkiness! And I don't want to deal with people who walk around like they are the best thing happen to others and they forget where they come from and not grounded! And at last, moody people! I certainly don't have time for anyone's moodiness. I don't walk around with your mood chart so excuse me when I don't know what mood your in on what day. And if people have issues with me, either talk to me or stay away from me because I do not want to see anyone's attitude face.

Let's try to exist amongst each other and stay clear my path if anyone has above issues! And I also think I should read this everyday to remind myself what I won't be tolerating anymore.

Kind of feeling funky today...must be the tax day! :)

Hope everyone did their tax!

Happy Hump Day!!!

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Just the thought...

I had an email exchanged with a friend today. She said she wants someone in her life. She said she is not looking for anyone but she wants someone to find her. The very best thing I replied back to her was for her not to look. Then she went ahead and said there was no luck in any stores either. LOL. I was thinking when people start shopping for boyfriends. Just as I was on that thought, as I continue reading her email...she mentioned she wonders if she can buy one on the Internet. I smiled.
I want everyone to be happy with the ones that they are with and appreciate each other. I know being alone can be very lonely but people can look at it in a positive way where they can work on themselves.
Remember, you have to love yourself before you can love or give yourself to anyone!!!

Do me a favor...

I had a weekend full of bliss in many levels. I mean what kind of blissfulness would you want. Snow? Happiness? Sleeplessness? (All types of blissfulness) Giants lost but what the hey! Now back to Monday and not a care in the world and as far as I'm concerned I am still happy even its Monday and all. of course sleepy but happy. The sleepiness will never go away in my world.

I stayed up until 1:30 AGAIN! I think I'm on mission of self destruction. It has got to be. Who else would do it to themselves knowing MONDAY is the first day of the work week. I am hoping there is someone just like me out there crazy enough to stay up. I was up catching up on my shows, bonding with my DVR (the best thing they can ever invent after VCRs) so to speak!

I hope everyone had a blissful weekend...

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The Guy On The Bus...

He has a girl in his arm and kissing her and said "yes, cross my heart" and he did that cross my heart shit with his finger on his right side of the chest. Last time I checked, the heart is on the left side, RIGHT? If only I could take a picture and post that but I don't want to be seem stalkish in public. ;)

I love sharing my stories...as I take my ass home. :)

Good Night All

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Pissed off!!!

I haven't written anything for awhile not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so much to say and don't know where to begin with. The story of my life. I still don't know where to start but I feel like ranting and raving so here I am. Thoughts might be all over the place so please excuse me if I start to ramble on with my words.

This past weekend, I felt bad because I had to tell someone off on her birthday because she started and brought up about how I am not a good friend to her and her boyfriend said that all she needed was him. If that was only true. Most of the times, he is the one who brings misery in her life, not that his opinions matter to me or what he thinks of me. And she had the nerve to bring this up to me when I called to wish her on her birthday. So of course, I got pissed off and went off on her. But we talked it out and got over that.

And to top of all off, it's been awhile I have been trying to get over with things and I am over it on a certain path that I walked. And suddenly, I feel like I am walking on egg shells. Here I go all over the place. That person feels that they have to spare my feelings and be sneaky around because they don't want hurt my feelings. Well at least, that's what I think they are doing. I am over it and there is no need for you to hide anything to spare my feelings. Just doing that hiding thing is a turn off. There is nothing I dislike more than being lied to and people thinking they are one step ahead me like I am dumb. I am sparing your feelings by accommodating you with "the dumbness".

I am sorry if I was ranting but thanks for reading. You might find it entertaining and disturbing but either way, it's my blog.

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