I Am Exhausted!

I have been working and then going to "Tar Yar" events. I haven't had a "ME" time for awhile. I have things lined up until the end of this month. I am not complaining because that's things I love to do but I am exhausted. I am allowed to be tired. Then once in awhile I have thoughts that creep in and making me want to think about unthinkable. NOT GOOD AT ALL!!! Those are what I call, RELAPSE! Then I remind myself to stay away from evil thoughts. I mean they are not as evil as anyone would be thinking but to me they sure are. I am supposed to go forward not backward. Although, my dad has told me that I am like crabs...I go sideways. LOL. Whatever that means.

Yesterday, I realized something about boys...they don't like it when they are asked by their girlfriends and wives on what they are doing later with their time but when girls who are their friends ask, they are perfectly okay with it. Weird but whatever.

So...

I was told I am such a wacko and I don't even know it! What's there to know?! But I know it was said out of love and I accepted. He didn't know any better. I mean I am weird and I can be all wacked out at times but hey who the hell don't. I entertain myself. Its something I do. As long as I don't lose the reality of what my surroundings are, I'm good, I am better than good!

So anyways, I was on the train...I hate it. I was looking around to see if I can find something to entertain myself with. (I promise Enz-ter I would write something) NOT A DAMN THING, instead I saw this guy watching me watching people. How weird was that? How did I even miss him watching me? How creepy was that? I watch people all the times but its creepy being watched! OMFG, WTF DUDE!

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Here is a thought...

Does anyone ever feel like you don't want to do a thing or be bothered with anything? Lately, I have been feeling like that. Even with this blog, I feel like I want to write something but I don't know what to write or I have many things to write that I don't know what topic to concentrate on.

I had this weird dream last night, actually the dream came in the morning that it bothered me because I don't know why I dreamnt that. I don't want to say I don't care much about people who were in it but I do have to say that. The whole thing is connected to my childhood and what I'm holding grudges of. Actually, I wouldn't say grudges but I would say something I haven't forgotten. But nonetheless, the dream is still bothering me. I don't want to close my eyes because I don't want to dream the same dream again. But I do need to go to sleep and think happy thoughts before I close my eyes.

Things can only happen if you let it. You have control over your own life and everything. I'm just saying!

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