Est. June 8, 2009!

Every second, every minute, every hour, and every day counts, apparently! Over the weekend, I did some thinking and finally my dumbass has seen some lights. I didn't do anything wrong and didn't deserve how I was treated. But I guess every dog has their own days. As far as I know, I am good. I will be better and stronger as days go by. I am proud of myself for handling things well. Kudos for me!!!

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It's Official!

Today when I woke up, you were there on the list. Then I got off work and I accidentally saw the number on my list and you were gone. I was in shock. I expected you to delete me earlier but you didn't. Now you did and I feel like you left me all over again. I cried so hard. I am having a tough time with this. All I can do is pray and ask for strength for me to deal with it.

How could you be so heartless?...

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I tried...

At least I can say I tried my best. But I wasn't too sure why I find myself reading emails when I was in Burma. It's very sad to read them. I guess I am still in shock. And I keep replaying every scenes that happened for the past 3 months and prior to that. Was I dreaming? Did I actually go through that? How are you dealing with all of this? Because apparently I am not feeling so good right now. But I promise myself and give you my word that I won't be speaking of it anymore. Well at least to you I won't. What I do on here is I guess my problem. I just know I have to find a way to deal with it. You seem okay with everything. I wish you the best and I want to see you happy. I pray for strength for me to deal with it. I can't seem to let go of it. All the things we have said to each other are still haunting me.

Why am I crying over someone who doesn't give a shit about me?