Finally...

So yes...I got my baby today. My new found love but the old will not be forgotten. It took me exactly 4 hours to get the laptop up and running but it's all worth it. I love it. I had an issue with a wireless network connection. But like I said I spent my time with the rep from DELL and Verizon for 4 hours and now KABOOM... I AM IN LOVE. This is so beautiful inside and out. I need a name for this...

I hate being asked...

"are you seeing anyone?"...

Well...you know that's the question that I get whenever I go around the family or people that I haven't seen or spoken to in ages. "Yes, I am fine...How are you?" ::smh::

Yesterday was thanksgiving day. I had a day off, Woohoo!!! But I am at work today. ::frown:: I wish I can go do the Black Friday thing instead I am having Friday blues...

I was watching Beyonce's show in Vegas on ABC last night. It was a pretty good segment. While I was watching it, it had me thinking about LOVE. I respect the love that Jay-Z & Beyonce share. They are very on the low of their relationship and marriage. I mean two people can be in love and there is no need to be all public about it. They are not hiding or denying their love for each other but they just don't talk about it. He does what he has to do and so does she. I want that kind of love. I envy their love. It's not a hip hop thing nor the white thing, black thing, asian thing or spanish thing, it's just the LOVE THING. And I want that!!! And the reason I am not in anything right now is because I would not settle for less. Everyone has their standards. I have been through so much in the past and I have given/taken so much that when I start a relationship in the future, I will be ready for that person. I am preparing and renewing myself for an improvement. There is always room for an improvement, I believe.

And the future awaits...

There is a saying...

"You can't beat 'em, Join 'em!"

I have a funny story. Well not really funny because those are my feelings but what else can I do but LAUGH! Me and my luck, I say!

So I have been feeling crappy for almost a week. And I sit there day after day to analyze myself WTH was wrong with me. Nothing was wrong. I am in love!!! I don't think, nor guess, I AM!!!

The funny part is that I am not even with the person that I am in love with. He decided he doesn't want to be with me. Well this is how I came to realize that I'm in love. For all these times I was with him, I was falling for him. There are things that I was willing to do because I want to be with this man. He didn't ask from me. I wanted to. I still want to. But that's not all of it. But you can't clap with one hand, right! So like I mentioned in my previous entries, I keep replaying moments we had, emails and things that we talked about. And no I am not living in the past. I am trying to understand why I can't let this go. And the audience, this is the reason why. I AM IN LOVE! I will never tell him this because he told me it's best if we ended. So I gave him what he wanted. So why tell the man I'm in love with him, so he can laugh at me? So I keep this to myself and make peace with it. It could have been a beautiful thing. I guess if it was meant to be he will be back or not, but I have to set him free. So I did.

People make mistakes, it depends on if you want to work things out and see what the outcome will be. But he didn't even leave anything open for us to continue. He wants nothing to do with me and I still have love for him. So I say this to myself, GOOD LUCK, YOU NEED IT!!!

Love is one of a kind and for now...love is a bitch and I live with it!!!

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