GREAT NEWS!!!

... so for the longest time, I have been dealing with my old laptop which takes forever to get started, my dad's laptop and my cousin's actually all my cousins. ::shame shame:: I finally bought my own. I am happy about it...actually EXCITED!!! The only suck part about is the delivery date. It's in mid March. I wish I can get it earlier than that. Anyways...why did I prolong this long??? I have a hard time parting with my old laptop and wasn't too sure what to get. But finally I decided to go with good ole DELL where I got my first laptop. So of course just like any other place, they take money first but the product later. LMAO. It's all good.

The little piece of machinery makes me happy but it put a whole in my pocket. But I am still smiling...at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Flipping the Script!

...So I have been having trouble with a certain someone at work because they are having a hard time adjusting to "OUR" work culture. Tomorrow is my last day here at work before my surgery. I was told to show him what I do so I tried doing that since last week and all he dad was give me grief. So finally I told him that I need him to do the whole work of it and that if he has any problems he can take it to the upper management. Guess what...he did the work that he HAD to, THE WHOLE NINE YARD. I knew he was playing a different role between the upper management and I. Anyways...here is what really got him. He thought I was going to give him grief and the 'TUDE. Oh no, no sir...I gave him nothing but sweetness...flip the script on the old boy and killed him with the kindness...

YES!...Today I smiled upon myself and was proud of myself for handling things very well. Taking care of business with one kindness at a time. LOL...he didn't know how to respond to that. Poor him.

Being BETTER...

... Once in a while, I would like to think that I am doing and being better than I was in 2009. And I do see the improvement. I like what I'm seeing and I am proud of myself. It's all part of being a grown up. There is more to improve in some areas but ROME WASN'T BUILT IN ONE DAY so I will give myself a break.

Where Does It Leave Me?...

For the past week, I have been a good family member and friend more than the usual if not more. I realized where it gets me in the end...NOWHERE!

I was there for my cousin where I felt that all his friends were using him and then making fun of him behind his back. And I wasn't the only one who felt that way. His sister saw things that I saw and felt the same way. But I let it go on and let him know what was happening. Maybe he might not be aware of what was happening behind his back. Then he told me that he spoke to them about it. Then I saw more disturbing things have said about him after he had spoke to them about it. So I said nicely to the people who were involved that they should stop saying mean things. But then the reply from them was way more harsh than the situation at hand. So I spoke on it to my cousin and his reply was to just ignore them. So I felt that I was standing by him and thinking I was doing the right thing but when it comes down to it, he left me out cold. He sided with his friends who were talking behind his back. ::SMH::

So what I learned from all that was I can be there for people but that would be the last time I stick my neck out for people who don't want to be saved from anything. I am learning to just listen to them and let go...and not to make it my burden. As long as I am there to listen when they need to be heard or not, I think it would be enough. I guess it will be me being there for them without putting myself out there.

And for the happy thought for me...I am dedicating this hump day to T.I. for looking so scrumptious.

Love Jones

Sitting here and thinking about "LOVE JONES". Classic! O I love that movie.

Nina Mosley: You always want what you want when you want it. Why is everything so urgent with you?
Darius Lovehall: Let me tell you somethin'. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That's urgent like a motherfucker.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darius Lovehall: Say, baby... can I be Your slave? I've got to admit girl you're the shit girl... and I'm digging you like a grave. Now, do they call you Daughter to the Spinning Pulsar... or maybe Queen of 10,000 moons? Sister to the Distant yet Rising Star? Is your name Yemaya? Oh, hell no. Its got to be Oshun. Oooh, is that a smile me put on your face, child... wide as a field of jasmine and clover? Talk that talk, honey. Walk that walk, money. High on legs that'll spite Jehovah. Shit. Who am I? It's not important. But me they call me brother to the night. And right now... I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Who am I? I'll be whoever you say? But right now I'm the sight-raped hunter... blindly pursuing you as my prey. And I just want to give you injections... of sublime erections... and get you to dance to my rhythm... make you dream archetypes... of black angels in flight... upon wings of distorted, contorted... metaphoric jizm. Come on slim. Fuck your man. I ain't worried about him. It's you who I want to step to my scene. 'cause rather the deal with the fallacy... of this dry-ass reality... I'd rather dance and romance your sweet ass in a wet dream. Who am I? Well, they call me Brother to the night. And right now I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Is that all right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can't find one of the quote that I am looking for but these will do... =)

Catching up with ME...

...As my first post of 2010... I'm already 6 days late... well they say...better late than never so I'm taking that route.

I was thankful I got to VA early to ring in the New Year with the family. I was ready to let go of 2009 and so looking forward to this year. I stayed there for 2 nights and 3 days but I felt it was a short trip. I felt rushed. I didn't get to do anything much. I got back to NY and I had a fever. It lasted for a night and 2 days but I was left with this horrible cold, i.e. cough and constant sneeze. That basically took my workout days away. I want to go back to the gym but I couldn't possibly do that to people at the gym. Besides they would kill me for going in there to spread my germs and I don't feel like being stuck with a nickname "SWINEY". But since the fever broke, I have been at work every single day since the New Year. ::smdh:: I am still feeling feverish from time to time but I guess I won't die from it. I have never done so much of nose blowing in my whole life than ever... and the skin on tip of my nose is dry and peeling off. NOT SO SEXY! =(

I finally caught up with all the blogs that I read on daily. I guess, starting from tomorrow I will be back on the regular program. So far the year has been positive for me, except for this little glitch called a COLD.

Something to look forward to this Saturday... A DENTAL APPOINTMENT. UGH! I just don't like any kind of visitations to any kind of doctors.

I hope everyone is having positive energy and good vibe this year so far...

Wheels are turning...

...I did lots of thinking on many topics this weekend. I thought about the friendships I gained and lost and recover, & what my part take in all the situations, my progress in every aspect of my life and how I can still improve and become a better woman. I am one of those who is loyal and stick with you 'til the end when I get the same responses in return. I know everyone is not perfect but I come damn closed...lol...kidding. Well...I have my flaws and I think to become a better person, the first step is to realize what your flaws are and to be able to make changes from them, only if one wants to, of course.

On a friendship level...

I know I can be the best damn friend anyone can ask for but most of the times, I find myself pulling back because of the past demon haunts me in the most miserable way. I am quite certain there is fault in both parties when it comes to all kinds of relationships but I've come across pretty messed up individuals in my life. And I know it's not the end of it yet. I will meet more of them I am sure of it. The important thing is that how I handle myself with them. And I truly appreciate everyone I met through all sorts of portals. They have been very inspirational and bring positivity to my daily life. I still do very much appreciate and love the constant ones who are in my life to cheer me on and let me have it when I deserve it. Oh and I realize I have lots of frenemies and I can't do anything but love them because they motivate me in a sick way.

On personal level...

School ~ I need to get to my thesis like yesteryear. I know I have talked about it many times on several occasions and I am still contemplating over nothing. UGH! I hate myself for it but I know that has to change immediately.

Work ~ I have made my 3 year mark at my job and I have learned a lot from it.

Home ~ I love my home life and I love my family. PERIOD!

Personality ~ I am short tempered and have no patience but if I didn't, it wouldn't be ME. =)

...okay so this post might sound like as if I have won an Oscar and thanking people but it just is what I was reflecting on this past weekend. Holidays make me all mushy and one emotional mess. Gotta love it.

I hope everyone had the best holiday with your loved ones.

Happy Holidays All...

... just wanted to wish all of you to have happy holidays with your loved ones and to send warm wishes your way ...

... hope you get all the gifts that you wanted from SANTA ...

So far I am having a very nice holiday with family and friends. I love all the wishes and cards that I got. I feel loved by all. I am grateful to have people who love me.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS...and do not take things/people for granted.

Smiles all around...

I baked sugar cookies last night for my coworkers and brought them to work today...the end results...THEY LOVE IT. =)

That's what I'm talking about...

Last night, after work, I felt great being on treadmill and in class. I felt every part of my muscles and I am feeling it now. LOL. I am getting things back in the swing of it. And the next thing I need to get the step on is on my THESIS. I need to focus.

It's cold as ice out today and I hope everyone is warm. I'd rather this weather more than the rain and snow. But fluffy snow is okay.

It's ON!!!

Today is the first day back to the gym. As Borat would say, "I'm EXCITE!!!" lol... We shall see. Yesssir. I can't wait to be on treadmill and in a Latin Impact class. It's kind of sad because I was looking at the schedule and I can only catch that class on Tuesday. =( Anyways...let me just concentrate on the happiness that I WILL BE BACK IN THE GYM. YES!!!! I want to be looking SLAMMIN' by April but if it happens earlier than that who am I to argue with that. =)

Happy 35th!!!

...to the best parents I could ever asked for... I love you May May and Daddy.

Weekend Recollection 12/5 - 12/6

Saturday...

I had to get up early to take my mom to Brooklyn monastery. Then headed back home just in time to meet up with Shonda for long over due catch up time. We went to the gym first so I can get my gym affairs in order. I had to unfreeze my account and she wanted to join. After that we went to Roosevelt Field Mall to look at things. We had our eyes make over at the MAC counter and left to Red Lobster for dinner. We had a great catch up time. I haven't seen her since March. I will be seeing her more since we will be at the same gym.

Sunday...

My parents invited me out to have lunch with them for their anniversary. We went to this Thai Restaurant...it was so delicious. We had a great time.

Overall, it was a great weekend. I am happy I did everything I love. I know I wasn't going to do the weekend recollections anymore but I didn't get to blog on the actual day and I didn't want to miss blogging the moments that I enjoyed. I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend.

I've decided!!!

I think I am going to either write daily or not write at all. I don't want to do the weekend thing anymore. I sometimes don't do anything exciting for me to write about so why write something when there's nothing happening. So I will only write when the writing flow comes through on top of my cabeza to the tip of my fingers. ;-)

When Sadness & Madness collide...

....there is a RANDOMNESS!

~ I wish I dream about my grandmother so I can see her one last time again...my cousin and mom dreamed about her, and now they make me feel like grandma doesn't appear in my dreams because she is upset that I didn't get to see her before she passed. Last time I saw her was in 2003 and she passed in 2007.

~ Work is actually having Christmas party this year. We skipped last year so I wasn't expecting this year at all.

~ I need a change and I am actually going through the process right now. Revamping myself for 2010.

~ 15th can't come soon enough. It's a back to the gym day, pay day and anything and everything else day. LOL!

~ I hated that my dad was asking me where I was last night to pick me up and I couldn't tell where I was because I had no idea which way Jamaica Avenue was located and he didn't know where Jamaica Hospital was. Both of us didn't know where we were. That was pure and full throttle frustration for me. FAILED!!! BTW, that hospital was the most unorganized and ghetto place I have ever seen in hospital. I was horrified.

~ People must think I entertain DRAMA because even when I am running the other direction, they follow. I must have entertained it when I was much younger but not anymore.

~ I am starting to wonder why I have FaceBook and twitter accounts. They create problems.

~ I really can't stand people who portray themselves for what they are not. Now I feel like it's all a front.

~ I know that I am being judged from my blog but whatever. I don't think my blog can define me as a whole.

~ When all things else failed, I will still and always have my family.

~ After thoughts after thoughts last night, I told myself I am not going to let people take advantage of me and my kindness, and won't let things bother me.

I hope everyone is having a great day in this FORKS weather.

Unexpected...

...yesterday was the last day of November in 2009. A friend of mine from the past called and she and I went to have dinner and drinks. So it kind of took my blues away. I haven't seen her in years. I enjoyed my night out even though it was on Monday...living dangerously, I know. LOL.

I can't believe we are in the last month of the year. Where did the time go? I got plans for 2010. Everything is in process. I can't wait for everything to fall into places.

Don't Judge Me!!! LOL.