Terrific Thursday...

...So ever since Sunday, my life has been work and hospital. It's all about MOM. It should have been like that from the get go.

I got good news today. MOM IS BEING DISCHARGED!!! Yay.

No more hospital sleepovers. Not that I mind sleeping over with my mommy :) but her roommate can be very noisy and smelly. (I know its very insensitive of me.) So now, I can take care of her at the comfort of our own home.

WELCOME HOME MOM, please don't scare the crap out of me ever again.

Ooo, and it's so true what they said about "when it rains, it pours!" The water pipe on the side of the house busted on Tuesday and all my new and old kicks got wet. UGH! I was momentarily insane. But now I am back to normal...or should I just say myself...I don't know what normal is when it comes to me. LOL.

Weekend Recollection 8/14 - 8/16

Okay so this will be the last week of doing my weekend recollections way past after the actual weekend. From now on, I promise myself I will do my entries on time.

anyways...

~ 8/14 ~

I couldn't wait to get home because my mom has promised me that we would all go to the movies after work. And sure enough, the whole house went to see "The Time Traveler's Wife". It was sad but at the same time very romantic. We all enjoyed it. After the movies, we all talked about making Wednesdays a family movie night. I was THRILLED!!! (can you tell I love movies???)

~ 8/15 ~

Got up on Saturday with an agenda...of course, the beach. I found out mom was sick and I thought nothing of it. I asked her if it was okay for me to go to the beach and she said fine and just to be careful. So there I went. I had fun and came home to find out that mom was more sicker than when I left the house. I did laundry and I went to sleep. In the mid of the night, my dad came knocking on my door asking for the heating pad for mom. I gave him it to him and then went back to sleep.

~ 8/16 ~

I was deep asleep and I heard another knock. My dad came in and said to tell my mom to go to the hospital. I went upstairs and saw her lying there in the bed all pale and cold. I was so scared. I called my uncle in VA and they spoke. She didn't want to go to the hospital. She said she will be better in a couple of hours. (now I know where I got my stubbornness. *smh*) Well, we, my dad and I, finally got her to go to the hospital with us. We got there at 11 am and after all the test we found out that she might have had her appendix swollen. So they said there might be a possible surgery happening between 6 - 7 pm. And she was admitted to the hospital. After that she got a room. They came and got her for her surgery at 7:30 pm from her room and then the surgery didn't start until 8:30 pm. (WTF!) So my dad and I waited in the family waiting room and paced. The surgeon came out at 10:30 pm and asked us why we didn't bring her in earlier and that her appendix looked like it has been ruptured for 4 - 5 days. We were both dumbfounded. We told him that even for us to bring her here today, we practically begged her. Anyways, she came out to the recovery room so the anesthesia get worn off before they take her back to her room. She looked so weak. I was so sad. I almost lost my mom. The thought did crossed my mind and I cried. After we saw her for a bit, we headed home.

What a weekend!!! I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Random AIM Chat...

*actual chat between this guy who has a girlfriend and who thinks he is my friend and I*

[12:30] BOY: What's your story these day? Got a bf?
[12:35] Me: no bf
[12:35] Me: i m signle
[12:35] Me: single
[12:37] BOY: Sorry I can't help you with that currently
[12:37] Me: huh?
[12:40] BOY: That means I'm not free to hang out or chill
[12:41] Me: its ok i m fine with that
[12:41] Me: i wasnt asking u
[12:41] Me: u asked me if i was single
[12:41] Me: so i was just answering
[12:42] BOY: Brb.. Getting busy @ work

Dick!

If you act psycho/weird, I will put you on blast. Try to stay sane, PLEASE...for your sake!!!

WTF!!!

Weekend Recollection 8/8 - 8/9

Every weekend, I am a week late to post the weekend recollection post. I need to get my shit together. *smhh*

~ 8/7 ~

...we decided to head to VA for family support. So as soon as I got home, packed and left for the weekend in VA. We got there so late on Friday.

~ 8/8 ~

I got up and went to Burmese Restaurant with my cousin. On the way back, we stopped by at Tyson Corners and then get a gift card for my cousin's birthday in July. (almost a month late and shit) Then we stayed home.

~ 8/9 ~

We all got up early because my aunt was celebrating her birthday at the monastery in Maryland. From there we headed back to NY.

I always have fun times with the family. Hope you all had fun.

Weekend Collections (7/25-7/26) & (8/1-8/2)

Wow... I am getting bad at this, aren't I? *smfh*

~ 7/25 - 7/26 ~

Friday night, family from Va came. On Saturday, we had a BBQ on that day before the concert. We had this best fun at the Burmese concert. I enjoyed the show with my besties. :) I was all smiles. And the next day, we all went to Jones Beach. So nice and refreshing to be out with a family. I LOVED every minute of it. No Yate Thar for the whole weekend.

~ 8/1 - 8/2 ~

Saturday, I woke up early wanting to go to get some color (tanning of course). But ended up getting a text from a friend's family to join them at the public pool (eckkk to the public pool). I did. I had so fun with them besides the fact that I felt like I was in the army. I was lucky to be able to even wear my bathing suits and bring my towel in. (they don't let you bring shit for anything!) And then, on Sunday, I met up with a cousin by marriage from my aunt's husband side and his friend for lunch. And then we walked around on Main Street. They have never been to Queens and they are from Brooklyn. *shocked* Anyways...nonetheless I had fun with them. Of course, Yate Thar all weekend after fun times.

I was excited on Sunday night because I joined NYSC for 2 weeks, WOOOHOOO!

Here is a CONTEST you can Enter!!!

My blogger friend Jill is having a little contest. So hurry on to her blog site and do your thang...

Good luck...

Weekend Recollection...

So what if I am a couple days late to recap on my weekend stuff...work has me all twisted and messed up. I hate my new supervisor. He literally thinks he is an auditor for us instead of working with us. (WTF DUDE!!!) He is so annoying.

~anyways~

Friday (7/17)...

It was almost the weekend and I still didn't know if we were leaving Friday night or Saturday morning. Turned out we left to VA on Saturday morning. So after work, I went to the monastery and then hung out with the ex...this dude I had a crush on in High School and I ended up with him years after High School but only lasted for like a couple months...so let's call him "Crush". Of course he found me on the root of all evils "FaceBook". LOL. He is married now and has a daughter. So when he said he wanted to hang out I though nothing of it. (I know I can be very naive!) So since my dad always loves blocking my car in, I had him come and get me. We went to UNOs. He had beers (lots of them) and food and I had 2 tall glasses of fruit punch and the wings. We did the catching up for the lost time thing and I told him how much I was hating on married guys hitting on me lately and such. And then we went to another place. Of course, He got more beer and I ordered a margarita. Then he asked me if it was okay for him to kiss me. He got the side eye for that shit. (Didn't I just mention to your ass about how I have been getting hit on by married men and you just pulled the same shit, FOOL?!) Anyways...that was the end of that night. I hate boys!

Saturday (7/18)...

I got home at 2:30 AM and I packed for the VA trip. I was all ready to go but we left late. the drive was forever. (at least that's how I felt!) We got there around lunch time and we were starving so we went to this Burmese Restaurant that I have been hearing about. It was so good. Anyways...got to my cousin's house, rested, took a shower and off I went with my cousin's to pick up food for the party for our newborn nephew (second cousin). He is so cute. I was in love. :)

Sunday (7/19)...

We all got up early and left VA. I had so much fun. Anytime I get to spend it with my family is the best. Of course I slept through the whole trip. Dad drove.

I didn't look forward to going back to work. I didn't want to see this fool at work. UGH!

This Question Was Asked!!!

Girl: When are you getting married?


Me: I think you only ask when someone is in a relationship, it's more possible that way.


For that, she gets one of my WTF face. By the way, I am still shaking my head.

Finally...Zumba Tuesday!

I have waited for this class and I went for the first time. It's like I went to a club without alcohol *hmmmmm*.

The result... I LOVE IT! I can't wait for next Tuesday. Since the class is once a week, I guess I will be doing other stuff on my own to keep up. Oh yea, I have to definitely change my bad eating habits.

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It's Been 3 Years...

...not a day that passed and you weren't in my thoughts. Grandma I miss you dearly.

Don't You Wish...

...you can just blog away as you think?... Not a chance! I don't think I will be having any posts on the usual weekend collection. I mean I have nothing to write about. I basically took a real weekend off and didn't do anything.

Here is my rants and raves...

I had lots of altercations at work with insignificant co workers. I know every job has them but this place have tons of them. So I wanted to blog about it but then too angry to even start. So I let it ride.

Friday, we had a get together after work. Good times as always and I think that was where my partying started and ended. I stayed home all day long yesterday and rested. I did a load of laundry.

Last week, I put some highlights to my hair and I got some compliments only from females. Now I always watch out when I get compliments only from females. Anyways today, so I decided I wanted only one tone for my whole head. I colored my hair and I remembered I wanted to catch up with Jill's blog. I am almost done catching up with her blog. I am very happy about it.

...Ode to Jillian...

...Jill is someone whose blog I accidentally clicked onto and realized that she and I are alike in many ways. She is a cool person and an awesome woman.

Anyways...my weekend is winding down and I am not ready for Monday but I am sure Monday is ready for my sorry behind.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

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Weekend Recollection...

It is kind of wrong of me to write only about the weekend when I haven't written since July 1st. But then I pulled myself together to write something last night. Oh wells...it is my blog , after all. (I do what I want!...kidding.)

Friday...

Somehow work let us out around 3:15. I was happy. I took my "Yay, I got out early" ass to 5th Avenue to have an eye feast. I went to an apple store first to see how much they were selling the iPod Touch for. I ended up buying the Paul Frank case for it without the iTouch. And I took myself to Best Buy for the iTouch where they were selling it for 25 dollars less with same warranty. (Yes, I have been shopping smart lately, I must be broke, HA!) I bumped into a person once I knew from High School. No story to tell. He went out with the girl I know. He works there. So I stood there while he worked and we did this catching up thing. And I went home. I got home and was so tired...I fell asleep. Then woke up and had dinner.

Saturday...

I stayed in bed until 3...YES, 3 P.M. I finally woke up took a shower and got ready for the BBQ for 4th of July. So my dad's 2 sisters and the husband came over. And I had this girl I knew back when I was in grade school in Burma. Anyhow...so basically I had a fun and quiet 4th of July with family. I also did one load of laundry. I didn't do much. I felt like I was 80 but hey, that was what I wanted to do.

Sunday...

Still didn't do much but went to the mall with my parents and vegged out at home. I did do another load of laundry. Seems like that's what I'm good for lately. (Doing laundry on the weekends.).

Anyways...I had a relaxing weekend which was what I wanted. As long as I enjoyed it who cares how old or what I felt like.

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and had a happy 4th of July.

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At The Moment...

1. I WANT a HANK in my life. (Kendra is so lucky!)

2. I want to blog and not blog at the same time. (I am crazy, YES!)

3. I feel like cuddling.

4. Undecided on whether I should keep my iPod Touch.

5. I am not feeling wishy washy people.

6. I don't want to work tomorrow.

7. I love my parents and extended family dearly. (That's everyday!)

8. I seriously need to start doing some exercise.

9. I just caught a mosquito that was bothering the crap out of me.

10. I can't wait to finish my laundry so I can go to sleep.

11. I love my life.

Have a great night everyone.

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*New Haircut*

I got a haircut today. I cut off all the bad stuff out of my life today and closed all the chapters. Ready for the new beginning.

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This Is Why I Don't Date!

Okay so on my previous posts, I have been mentioning about The Marine. Him and I have been acquainted for the past 2 weeks and it finally came to an end. We go back and forth with our feelings, the situation and whatever else. I tried to be very understanding to people and their emotions. (I should be putting myself first.) And now look, where it got me. Well, I guess it's for the better. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger.

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Drunk? Yup that's me!...

Okay so I went out for drinks after work with co-workers. We all had so much fun. What did I have? I had...

4 margaritas
2 shots of Jack
1 shot of Jaeger
And yes...I'm pretty much done!

I had him on the work premises. (Oh yea, let's call him GTS...because he acts like a Goody Two Shoes. Boy that was a long time coming.) I didn't reach my destination yet he did! (WTF!). But I told him he owes me and he knows it also. Anyways.. I needed to get drunk. I am on the train and I need some food. (Whoever planned today's night out, let's call him Mr. Know at All, Thank you very much!)

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Week Recollection...

Friday...

I left work on time to run to main street to get my shish kabob fix after work. After that I went to the Monastery to leave my bags to run to get shaved ice and I got yell at by 3 Chinese women because I couldn't explain to them in the terms which they can understand. (I am not Chinese!!!) So embarrassing! They did my order wrong and then they tell me to go and pay again to get my right order. (are they CRAZY?) Well...to make the story short, I got what I wanted.

Saturday...

I woke up on time to take a shower and get to the Monastery on time. They started the program early which made us late. (I thought we were early.) And then I asked my parents if we can go to Bloomingdale's to get my bag and they gladly agreed. *all smiles* But I also ended up in NordStrom and ended up buying sunglasses that I WANT. (I know, shame on me) Then, to Walmart and Costco. I ended up with a migraine which I get every once in a while. (I have to figure out why I get them.) I got home and tried sleeping it off but it didn't help. My cousin woke me up to go and watch TRANSFORMERS. It was awesome. But I fell asleep towards the end because of my migraine. (I thought I was hungry so I picked up sushi before the movie but that wasn't it.) On the way back home, the gas light came on telling to me put some gas in it. So I stepped on gas and got stopped by the cops but I talked my way out of getting a ticket. (oh yea, in their words...SUMMON, WTF, ticket is a ticket.) When I got home which was like at 1:30 AM something... anyways...A friend of mine called. Let's call him "The Cop". And he wanted to stop by to see me. So I let him. We sat in his car and spoke until 4 in the morning. (it was stupid of me because my head was still pounding.)

Anyhow...

Sunday...

Phone Phone is leaving NY today so I didn't have to go anymore to the Monastery so I woke up late. After that, I went for a 2 miles walk and then dinner at UNOs and then CVS with a friend of mine...let's call him "Sanford". Sanford was extremely nice to me. I have known him for so long. Anyways...got back home around 10:30 PM and then watched Kendra, Denise Richards and the BET Awards. I headed to bed at 2 something in the morning knowing I had to work...shit Monday is right on my ass.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

*side note* ~ The Marine didn't even contact me and I didn't either.

iPhone or iTouch?

I was thinking if I should get an iPhone. Look at IT. But I think I am just going to have to go with the iTouch. I already have a blackberry. And there is no need for me to have 2 cells. I mean I am no drug dealer.

Happy Thoughts...

As I mentioned before, I have some more updates on, let's call him, "The Marine".

Yea so...yesterday, The Marine and I planned to meet up after work. He came all the way to my job. We sat and talked between 7th and 8th Ave. It was awesome. I haven't seen him since that Friday night that I met him. Conversation was smooth sailing as always...in person, on the phone or via texts. I love it. After that we took the train together and he went about his business and so did I. I can't believe he is so beautiful inside and out.

When will I see The Marine again?....

OMG!

I am speechless! There is a reason why I am speechless. Here goes nothing...

I was standing on F train minding my own business (putting my thoughts together for my next post), this man woke up out of nowhere and he started writing on the back of the paper that he had in his hand. This is what he put on it!!!

"Smile, I am CPA/Lawyer. My name is Robert. What is your name?"

And he handed me the paper. I was like WTF. So he took it back and wrote something again. So I had to think quick. (yes it's hard at times) I got off the next stop before he handed me that stupid ass paper again! (PISSED OFF!)

How could someone ran me off from my transit route? (I got off with the quickness). Is it me or am I just prone for weirdos?

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So Tempted!!!

Finally!!!

SUMMER IS HERE!!! (Just literally speaking because it's pouring in NY *sobbing*)

Weekend Recollection...

Friday Evening...

I got off work and off I went on the train. I saw this beautiful man on the train. What an eye candy!!! (yes, I did the rude thing, I STARED!!!) We got off at the same stop to transfer. (Damn, he looked good!) Anyways...I saw him looking at me also. The boy is too damn cute for his own good. He started signaling me to take my headphones off and I did. (Oh boy!) So we were talking on the train. And we got off at Citifield to talk some more. (45 mintues!!!) We exchanged numbers. After the meditation center, he got in touch with me and we went out for a bite. It was great overall. That went well!

Saturday...

I got home late from Friday night late, I didn't get up early. I slept all day and then took a shower and off I went to Flushing to the Meditation center by public transportation.

Sunday...

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!!! And I wished all the first time daddies and daddy to-bes. They all deserved it. They work hard for all of us. My dad is in retreat at the meditation center so I planned to celebrate with him later in the week.

...anyhow...

as usual, my mom and I took the bus after we did grocery shopping to head to Meditation center. I was occupied on my BB and my mom left me on the bus to transfer to another bus. (thanks mom!; it was funny but it wouldn't be really funny if I was really left back on the bus.) When I got on the another bus, the bus driver was hitting on me in front of my mom. *BLANK STARE* He was trying to ask for my number. He was cute. But then he followed me off the bus to get my number. (thank Buddha, my mom went the other way.) He took out his cell and he has a wedding ring on. *BLANK STARE* (again!) Here is how the conversation went:

Bus Driver: Can I have your number?

Me: Is that a wedding ring?

Bus Driver: Yes!

Me: I am sorry I can't give you my number, you are married!!!

I mean Dude, do I even have to ask that if that was a wedding ring? You should know better. *SMHH* I was thinking if I was dressed all slutty and I would understand why I got hit on because I just might have been asking for it. I looked like crap but I wasn't stinking or anything. I took a shower but I had on a large size T-Shirt (men's Large), jeans and Timberlands (it was raining). I wasn't even looking cute at all. So now, I realized it's not me. It's just BOYS. Boys are DOGS by nature.

Now I am starting to wonder if I had a sign on my forehead saying "Married Men Welcome" or "If you are married, please feel free to hit on me".

I hope everyone had a great weekend because I had a WTF weekend but it was all good.

Random Thoughts...

I found myself thinking ~

~ how much I miss tracing your face with my fingers (yes, you are still a big deal in my memories and I just might hate myself for it)
~ I don't have to worry about how I would have to look as long as I look fabulous. (feel so good not to have a crush on anyone)
~ I get so annoyed at overly sensitive people (grow thicker skin people!!!)
~ how I am detaching myself from everyone.
~ how I am enjoying myself with what I'm doing right now with the Monastery.
~ how I am not even attracted to anyone right now.
~ I want to take continuing education classes.

...anyhow...

...I am glad the weekend starts after 4:30 PM and I cannot wait for a minute. I have nothing planned for the weekend except my cousin and I might go to the movies and the Monastery (of course!). I need to get father's day card for daddy (last minute, I know). I might have to owe him a gift because I am as broke if not more than the next business person. (shame on me!) But I am definitely looking forward to the weekend so that I can get some sleep that I lost during the week.

Am I Wrong?

A week ago, I was asked if I wanted a ride after work. I said sure. (yes I have unlimited metro card but I still wanted a ride.) Surely enough I got my ride and then the person who gave me a ride asked me for two dollars and said he will give it back to me. I did say its alright. But I do want my 2 dollars back. I felt like I paid for my transportation when I already paid for monthly except I got a ride from an upgraded vehicle. (whoopee!)

...anyways...

here is the truth...

2 dollars is nothing. If it was from anyone else, I wouldn't want it back. He is the kind of person who walks around with bunch of Benjamin in money clip and literally flashed in front of people. (BTW I am not hating.) So yes dammit, I want my money back. Am I wrong to want my money back?

Just Another Manic Monday...

I woke up early to go to the Monastery to meditate. After that I went straight to my car and took at least an hour of nap. Then got back inside for my burmese breakfast. (YUM!) The rain has been crazy in New York. I haven't felt summer in New York.

...anyhow...

I did the half human half robot thing at work. I did function but very slow and steady. I cannot wait for tomorrow morning. I don't have to get up early tomorrow. Phone Phone will be travelling to Washington DC for the next two days. After work, I stopped by at the shish kabob stand and had my fix. (also paid what I owed, felt much better.) While I was eating, it started to pour. (mom called right on time right after I finished eating, nice timing mom!) I headed to the bus stop to meet her and we came back to the Monastery.

...anyways...

Let's hope for no mishaps like last night! (I did take major precautions.)

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Friday Evening 'Til Sunday...

...Friday evening...

Since I lost 5 hours of sleep for two mornings put together for Thursday and Friday, I was so happy the week was over. So of course I did the usual thing and headed to the shish kabob vendor before mom meeting me in Flushing to go to the Monastery. (she didn't know how to take the bus to get there.) So I ate and owed him 5 dollars because I only had a 20. He didn't have change so he said next time. (I hate owing people.) I told him I would wait and he said not to worry and to pay him next time. I know I can pay him next time but I didn't want to do that. So now I am the girl who owes the shish kabob guy money.

...Saturday...

woke up at 11 (so tired), to pick up a friend of the family from 179th to go to the airport to pick up cousins who came back from their honeymoon. (starving!) After I picked them up, I hurried back home with a quickness. (Mom said she had food but not too sure what it was.) I got home with cousins and a friend. We ate and I was half asleep on the living room couch. As the jet lagged couple took a nap, I was right along with them. (hell yeah, I was tired.) I woke up on time to go to the Monastery. (Dad never came back so of course mom & I went with my car, still didn't understand why we needed to go with two separate cars.) After we are done with "Ta-Ya-Pwear", we went home (in separate cars) to get my cousins and headed to the restaurant for dinner. After we had dinner, we went home and all the cousins bonded over the movies and the pictures they took in China.

...Sunday...

I still had to wake up early because my cousins were heading back to VA. We all had breakfast and they left. (soon enough...) I went back to sleep. Before I went to sleep, I was told to get up on time for the Monastery by my dad. (I know this) Hours after, I got up, took a shower and then head to the Monastery (AGAIN! Yes with my own will!) After the "Ta-Ya-Pwear" my timberland flip flops were gone. (we had to take off shoes before entering.) I looked for them all over the place. They were nowhere to be found and at that time, I was already pissed and to top it off, I was hungry. All I kept mumbling was "how can someone leave with other people's shoes?" Then I went to the basement and only to find this lady wearing my flip flops. Here is the conversation between her & I:

Me: You are wearing my flip flops.

The Lady: I thought they were mine.

Me: *BLANK STARE MIXED WITH A WTF LOOK* (which I am not supposed to have that look according to the monk)

...anyways...

to continue the story, I had my flip flops outside of the Monastery and she had hers inside. And for her to even say they were alike, mines were TIMBERLAND and hers looked like crapped. I couldn't even tell who made them. (but that wasn't the case) And lady, wouldn't you know when you are wearing other people's shoes? They apparently weren't yours. Not only did she stretch out my flip flops, she lied to me also. How could she have thought they were hers when the flip flops were taken off in different places? (I might be younger than her but I wasn't born yesterday.) And she did not even apologize.

What a weekend!!! I didn't get my rest but it was all good. I did what I enjoyed.
Hope everyone had a great weekend like me.

I'm Annoyed!

Besides getting up at 3:30 AM for the past two days, I'm so annoyed at this lady at work. She shouldn't even be titled as a lady. Okay, let me start from the beginning...

I would like to think that I work with professionals but not where I'm at on daily basis. This lady walks around burping out loud and apologizing after the burps. (Do you see any professionalism in that?) And she wants attention out of that. (What are you like 5?) She looks at me every time she does it and she wants my comment (are you effing serious?) I pay no mind to that.

...anyways...

what I'm doing is making me supposed to feel peaceful and this whole outside world is pissing me off. But I guess I have to deal with the outside would and not get all pissed off.

...but then again...

it's better to be pissed off then pissed on. LOL!

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The Most Satisfied Purchase...

My secret hobby ~ I love reading people's blogs. They are awesome. And what I realized while I was reading was I need to broaden my vocabulary and make sure my blog is up to par. I want my blog to look fabulous like me (I know I'm fabulous). So I bought an electronic dictionary and thesaurus from Office Depot and I'm loving it. This is not a waste but an investment for myself. Hooray for me!



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I Am Exhausted!

I have been working and then going to "Tar Yar" events. I haven't had a "ME" time for awhile. I have things lined up until the end of this month. I am not complaining because that's things I love to do but I am exhausted. I am allowed to be tired. Then once in awhile I have thoughts that creep in and making me want to think about unthinkable. NOT GOOD AT ALL!!! Those are what I call, RELAPSE! Then I remind myself to stay away from evil thoughts. I mean they are not as evil as anyone would be thinking but to me they sure are. I am supposed to go forward not backward. Although, my dad has told me that I am like crabs...I go sideways. LOL. Whatever that means.

Yesterday, I realized something about boys...they don't like it when they are asked by their girlfriends and wives on what they are doing later with their time but when girls who are their friends ask, they are perfectly okay with it. Weird but whatever.

Est. June 8, 2009!

Every second, every minute, every hour, and every day counts, apparently! Over the weekend, I did some thinking and finally my dumbass has seen some lights. I didn't do anything wrong and didn't deserve how I was treated. But I guess every dog has their own days. As far as I know, I am good. I will be better and stronger as days go by. I am proud of myself for handling things well. Kudos for me!!!

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I'm in the NJ State of Mind...What a Weekend!

It's Sunday and I got up so early. It's the weekend for my sake. WTH! I have things to do. I didn't even start my laundry yet. I went to the "Yate Thar" and listened to "Tar Yar". I run to the bank and headed to NJ to visit my friends. I had a great time. I got lost as usual when I go to them. I didn't fail at that this time either. LOL! I got home and did 3 loads of laundry. I am tired as hell. I wish I can have some margaritas to relax. Hell I deserve from the way my weekend has started.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

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I'm Inspired!

So I cried my eyes out yesterday and I realized I need to stop that. I shouldn't cry over you. You are a very cold hearted person. You were lucky to have me as I was also but you could have handled it well. But now, I am at a point that you've done pissed me off. A friend of mine told me some inspiration words and I was like yea she is so right. So I was inspired and I can finally let go. I could have done what you did, but I am more grown for that. I am not going to be a child.

I have to be stronger and do what I have to do. I will face these problems as life goes on. As long as I recognize and I do accordingly, I feel that I will be fine.



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It's Official!

Today when I woke up, you were there on the list. Then I got off work and I accidentally saw the number on my list and you were gone. I was in shock. I expected you to delete me earlier but you didn't. Now you did and I feel like you left me all over again. I cried so hard. I am having a tough time with this. All I can do is pray and ask for strength for me to deal with it.

How could you be so heartless?...

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I Feel Sad...

Sometimes I just sit and think endlessly and I have this sense of sadness and I start to feel the pain. Right now, I am sitting on the back of the bus and I feel as if I have lost so much in my life. There is something definitely missing in my life. I can't seem to concentrate and am not happy. When I see people who are so happy, I envy them. I don't want to have what they have but I want to know when my happiness will come and stay with me. My day will come...hopefully...

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At Last...

Finally... the blog is done. So beautiful. I love it. Thanks for all the help I got...I owe my BFF.

A Little More Time...

Good things come in time. Yes...so is my blog. Only a little more glitches to fix and this will be ready to go. I can't wait to be

Speaking of good things come in time, I am doing some good stuff at home. I am hoping things will pay off at the end. My thoughts are all over the place again so best not to say anything until I can focus. *wink*

I Scratched My Itch! ...

I started out with the above item...

Then...
All smiles...

Good Deeds Day...

I got up so early and went to NJ with my parents for the new temple. I thought of you. You told me you wanted to go with me. I saw lots of food that you would want to eat. I was so about to call you but I told myself not to. You probably don't want to hear from me. I donated money to the monks. I feel peaceful. And I can still feel you in my heart.

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Feel So Good...

I fixed my blog site. I am so happy I did it on my own. I think I still need to fix one little thing but my brain is fried. I don't have an IT degree and I got myself this far so hell yea I'm proud of myself. Also feel geeky but proud! = )

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I Matter...

Sometimes, I sit there and think about one person in the world who doesn't give a shit about me. And I get carried away with it and I start to feel sad. That's when I should stop and say to myself, I matter also and why should I be thinking about someone who doesn't give any crap about me. It's a daily battle for me and so far I am losing. I would just like to go a day without thinking about you if I could. But seems impossible. So I say to myself, one day I will be able to not think about you. I have got to start somewhere and take one day at a time. I have to love myself or who else will.

I hope everyone is having a great day. It's after all a Thursday, a day away from the weekend. Although, the weather is crappy.


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Wedding Weekend...

My cousin got married to the man of her dream on May 24, 2009. I was the maid of honor at the wedding. It was very busy and exhausting but I had a blast. We all enjoyed at. I was all out of funk because all I can think about was you. I miss you so much. I am starting to get pissed off at myself because this is getting prolonging. I mean I don't think you are missing me. I am having a hard time.

I am so exhausted inside and out. I just want to crawl in my bed and not face anyone.

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Missing You...

I miss you so much it hurts. I don't cry anymore because I'm all cried out but it feels empty. *sad*

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I Did What!!!...

I reinvented myself today. I created a new link for this blog. I mean you knew my old one and I don't know if you read it but why tempt you. So I did you a favor and I found me a new name for my blog. Yay me!!!

I feel better today because I am focusing on the wedding. I haven't written a speech yet. I don't know what I'm waiting for. It sucks to be me right now. But as always I believe in myself. I can do this with eyes closed. Lol!

I am on the road on the way to VA. Dad is driving and it's a beautiful thing. I will be knocked out pretty soon. :).

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Day In & Day Out...

There is not a moment that you haven't crossed my mind. Every fcking thing reminds me of you. That shit is starting to piss me off. I can't shake you out of my system. I don't want to but I have to. You have moved on and I should do the same. Especially today you stand tall and still in my mind.

So here is the funny moment... The ex that I want to contact me doesn't but the ex that I'd rather be away from sent me an email nonchalantly. Was I supposed to be replying to that? HELL NO! Now I'm thinking if you felt that way when I was on your shit for a minute. But I doubt that! So that was why I thought I had a chance when all the cards were already dealt with from your side. All the signs are there so now it's up to me to accept the truth. Truth hurts but I am dealing it in the best way I can. Sometimes the devil side of me wants to flip off THE TRUTH!

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7:30 AM ...

Has anyone made plans ahead of times and the day came and the plan's haunting? YES! I had things to do today after work and tomorrow for that matter. But it will not happen and I am destroyed by it. I would like to be there where I'm supposed to be. We would have tons of fun. Now I completely understand why I don't make plans because they slap you in the face when they don't happen. Course of life changes everyday and I just have to work with it. Just like life in general, I am still work in progress. I can't wait to see the finishing product.

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Happy Birthday...

Today is your birthday. I want to wish you but you are stopping me from it. I know you ignored me 'til the end so I don't want to make you upset that I wished you. But there is no stopping me from expressing it on my blog. :)

Happy Birthday "YOU" !!! I wish you happiness, full of joy on your day and many more. May all your wishes come true.

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Anxiety of Separation...

That's what I'm feeling right now. I can't get over it! I don't even know how a person deal with that. I wish I have a switch like them.

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Time Does Not Heal...

When people say, time heals everything...it's pure BS. I am sure it does but not all the way. You can only heal from it if there was not much pain involved from the start. The pain and hurt will be there. And I got scars to show from them.


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I Lay Awake...

At nights, I can't go to sleep. Once I close my eyes, I wake up exactly in 15 minutes looking for you because I feel the emptiness in my chest. Is that even normal? I don't wish this kind of pain on anyone. There is that strong attachment taking over me. I still do what I have to do on daily routines and maintain the "me" part but my thoughts are always with you. I want to be numb.


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