Being BETTER...

... Once in a while, I would like to think that I am doing and being better than I was in 2009. And I do see the improvement. I like what I'm seeing and I am proud of myself. It's all part of being a grown up. There is more to improve in some areas but ROME WASN'T BUILT IN ONE DAY so I will give myself a break.

Where Does It Leave Me?...

For the past week, I have been a good family member and friend more than the usual if not more. I realized where it gets me in the end...NOWHERE!

I was there for my cousin where I felt that all his friends were using him and then making fun of him behind his back. And I wasn't the only one who felt that way. His sister saw things that I saw and felt the same way. But I let it go on and let him know what was happening. Maybe he might not be aware of what was happening behind his back. Then he told me that he spoke to them about it. Then I saw more disturbing things have said about him after he had spoke to them about it. So I said nicely to the people who were involved that they should stop saying mean things. But then the reply from them was way more harsh than the situation at hand. So I spoke on it to my cousin and his reply was to just ignore them. So I felt that I was standing by him and thinking I was doing the right thing but when it comes down to it, he left me out cold. He sided with his friends who were talking behind his back. ::SMH::

So what I learned from all that was I can be there for people but that would be the last time I stick my neck out for people who don't want to be saved from anything. I am learning to just listen to them and let go...and not to make it my burden. As long as I am there to listen when they need to be heard or not, I think it would be enough. I guess it will be me being there for them without putting myself out there.

And for the happy thought for me...I am dedicating this hump day to T.I. for looking so scrumptious.

They can call me a drifter...TODAY!

...My mind is racing with 10 gazillion things and I can't pin point on anything particular. Days like this make me really upset and just make me want to crawl in my bed and be held. I am sitting here trying to work and I am drifting away. I haven't felt like that in awhile. So much I want to write about and I can't seem to form sentences.

WHAT GIVES!

Love Jones

Sitting here and thinking about "LOVE JONES". Classic! O I love that movie.

Nina Mosley: You always want what you want when you want it. Why is everything so urgent with you?
Darius Lovehall: Let me tell you somethin'. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That's urgent like a motherfucker.

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Darius Lovehall: Say, baby... can I be Your slave? I've got to admit girl you're the shit girl... and I'm digging you like a grave. Now, do they call you Daughter to the Spinning Pulsar... or maybe Queen of 10,000 moons? Sister to the Distant yet Rising Star? Is your name Yemaya? Oh, hell no. Its got to be Oshun. Oooh, is that a smile me put on your face, child... wide as a field of jasmine and clover? Talk that talk, honey. Walk that walk, money. High on legs that'll spite Jehovah. Shit. Who am I? It's not important. But me they call me brother to the night. And right now... I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Who am I? I'll be whoever you say? But right now I'm the sight-raped hunter... blindly pursuing you as my prey. And I just want to give you injections... of sublime erections... and get you to dance to my rhythm... make you dream archetypes... of black angels in flight... upon wings of distorted, contorted... metaphoric jizm. Come on slim. Fuck your man. I ain't worried about him. It's you who I want to step to my scene. 'cause rather the deal with the fallacy... of this dry-ass reality... I'd rather dance and romance your sweet ass in a wet dream. Who am I? Well, they call me Brother to the night. And right now I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Is that all right?

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I can't find one of the quote that I am looking for but these will do... =)

Catching up with ME...

...As my first post of 2010... I'm already 6 days late... well they say...better late than never so I'm taking that route.

I was thankful I got to VA early to ring in the New Year with the family. I was ready to let go of 2009 and so looking forward to this year. I stayed there for 2 nights and 3 days but I felt it was a short trip. I felt rushed. I didn't get to do anything much. I got back to NY and I had a fever. It lasted for a night and 2 days but I was left with this horrible cold, i.e. cough and constant sneeze. That basically took my workout days away. I want to go back to the gym but I couldn't possibly do that to people at the gym. Besides they would kill me for going in there to spread my germs and I don't feel like being stuck with a nickname "SWINEY". But since the fever broke, I have been at work every single day since the New Year. ::smdh:: I am still feeling feverish from time to time but I guess I won't die from it. I have never done so much of nose blowing in my whole life than ever... and the skin on tip of my nose is dry and peeling off. NOT SO SEXY! =(

I finally caught up with all the blogs that I read on daily. I guess, starting from tomorrow I will be back on the regular program. So far the year has been positive for me, except for this little glitch called a COLD.

Something to look forward to this Saturday... A DENTAL APPOINTMENT. UGH! I just don't like any kind of visitations to any kind of doctors.

I hope everyone is having positive energy and good vibe this year so far...