Random Thoughts...

3 hours away to 2009, surely I am getting excited but I am still traveling in the car. I better get to my destination before the clock strikes midnight. For the past 3 & a half hours, I read blogs from others and think about what I will write about on mine and I prepared for the text I will be sending out when the countdown is over. All I know is that I have got to get some followers for yours truly. Who would have thought I'd be the one who like to write. Well, I don't like to write reports and stuff, but this blog thing, its like my new found love along with my blackberry. Have I mentioned I am addicted to it? Where do I even begin with my addictions? Let me not even start because I would like to enjoy my non-driving journey.

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What A Way To End The Year!

To top the worst part of my year, look how its going to end but I am escaping NY for the night. Woot Woot!!!

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Good Riddens to 2008

I say goodbye to good old 2008 today. Well as for me, the year had lots of ups and downs. The best thing came out of it, I took care of my financial situation! Things that I want to accomplish didn't quite happen. So for the year of 2009, I will put myself first (not in a selfish way), separate work and/from personal life, letting go of things and people who are not worth having in my life (that includes relationships & friendships), cutting down on coke (which I did it for 4 months in 2008, see if I can hold it longer and for the rest of my life, ;) ), no more halls unless the cough was going to kill me in a matter of right that second, finish up my thesis, and get back to the gym so I can be a hell of sexy ass on my 33rd!!! I am sure there will be more but I can't think of anything anymore.

Have a happy and safe new year.

And whoever is reading my blog, THANK YOU!

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I love it...NOT!

I love the fact that the bus driver sees me and still leaves me at the bus stop like I was supposed to be hustling for the bus meanwhile he/she waits for like 5 minutes at the next stop because they are early for their due at the next one. And I also love that people come on the bus and they smell like food that they eat. WTF! And I love it when people read over what I am doing on my crackberry like there is an open invitation for them.

But this is what I truly love, I love it that when my bus driver make the bus flys instead of driving the bus. That would call it "my lucky day"!

Have a great day and weekend!!! Enjoy and happy shopping!

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I'll be fine!

So here was the incident that remind me why I shouldn't be so trusting to strangers...

I rarely have bad judgments on people. So if I see something that triggers me from giving the individual my full trust, I go with that. But not this time around. I go ahead and give benefit of the doubt and all that jazz! And what do I get at the end? A bite in the ass! Yes, I said it! I mean everyone always thinks they know me and think I am very naive. I just have a good heart. But once I find out what everything is all about and if I get hurt in the process of it, I can promise you that they will feel that pain along with me.

But I am so thankful and grateful for the people who have been there for me through thick and thin, no matter what. And I can literally count them with one hand. Not sad but true! I'd rather have 1 person who has my back then have thousands who won't. With that said, I'LL BE FINE! = )

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Scattered thoughts...

Haven't written in along time that's because it's either a lot on my mind that too much to write and don't even know where to begin or it's just been a hollow ground up there. LOL! Yes it does happen to me. I can completely not think about anything at all and retiring myself from anything and everything.

Lately, I have been going to work just right on time. I used to get up early and get there like 30 minutes earlier but as the weather gets colder and the bed gets warmer, Sandhi just doesn't want to get up of course besides the fact that I am not a morning person. I need a mini vacation again. Where should I go? Somewhere cheap, fast and good. There goes those three magical words again.

Work sucks! Just thankful and very grateful I have one. I love what I do but there is no such thing as "HELP" exist there. Oh well, the story of my life!

The only constant thing in my life right now is I AM EXHAUSTED, guaranteed!

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Pissed off!!!

I haven't written anything for awhile not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so much to say and don't know where to begin with. The story of my life. I still don't know where to start but I feel like ranting and raving so here I am. Thoughts might be all over the place so please excuse me if I start to ramble on with my words.

This past weekend, I felt bad because I had to tell someone off on her birthday because she started and brought up about how I am not a good friend to her and her boyfriend said that all she needed was him. If that was only true. Most of the times, he is the one who brings misery in her life, not that his opinions matter to me or what he thinks of me. And she had the nerve to bring this up to me when I called to wish her on her birthday. So of course, I got pissed off and went off on her. But we talked it out and got over that.

And to top of all off, it's been awhile I have been trying to get over with things and I am over it on a certain path that I walked. And suddenly, I feel like I am walking on egg shells. Here I go all over the place. That person feels that they have to spare my feelings and be sneaky around because they don't want hurt my feelings. Well at least, that's what I think they are doing. I am over it and there is no need for you to hide anything to spare my feelings. Just doing that hiding thing is a turn off. There is nothing I dislike more than being lied to and people thinking they are one step ahead me like I am dumb. I am sparing your feelings by accommodating you with "the dumbness".

I am sorry if I was ranting but thanks for reading. You might find it entertaining and disturbing but either way, it's my blog.

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The truth is...

I was presented a question today from a very dear friend. He asked me if I would go out with someone who is taken. So I paused and thought about it. Then he said to me, "Nevermind, you would!" And I was like I had to think because it could be under different circumstances. The truth is how was I to know if someone is taken. They don't come with signs on their foreheads or they might withheld the truth from you altogether. Sometimes, after knowing what you know, it might be a bit hard for you to walk away from the situation also. There are times you just can't resist those moments, what people might describe as the weakest moment of your life, yes I have many of those sometimes and it's a shame. The truth is I am hoping this weakness is going to go away very soon, for my sake. :)

Happy voting day!!!

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Here is a thought...

Does anyone ever feel like you don't want to do a thing or be bothered with anything? Lately, I have been feeling like that. Even with this blog, I feel like I want to write something but I don't know what to write or I have many things to write that I don't know what topic to concentrate on.

I had this weird dream last night, actually the dream came in the morning that it bothered me because I don't know why I dreamnt that. I don't want to say I don't care much about people who were in it but I do have to say that. The whole thing is connected to my childhood and what I'm holding grudges of. Actually, I wouldn't say grudges but I would say something I haven't forgotten. But nonetheless, the dream is still bothering me. I don't want to close my eyes because I don't want to dream the same dream again. But I do need to go to sleep and think happy thoughts before I close my eyes.

Things can only happen if you let it. You have control over your own life and everything. I'm just saying!

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Disappointment

I am starting to think my friend is right about me. I am a Jellyfish...wishy washy and no backbone (only in a certain cases). I know I got a backbone. It's just that sometimes...I get pulled back into things...unhealthy things. And the pull is bigger than I am most of the times and I get sucked in. But to reassure to those who care, I am trying my best but it is very hard. There is a saying for it. I am not too sure exactly what it is but it goes something like "Don't fight the current, go with the flow!" Ha!

Excuse me while I dismiss you out of my life :)

Just to start, I think this mobile blog thing for me is way better than when I can do it in front of the computer. I mean my thoughts are always on the run so it's cool for me to be able to put it on here when it strikes. With that said, here it goes...

People come in and out of your life daily one way or another. Some might have impact on you and some, you won't even know if they even existed. This is what my thought on that. If you feel that someone is useless in your life, not that you are using them or anything, drop them. Why have them in your life? No one is doing the survey or there is no popularity contest here! What I mean by useless is meaning if they don't even defeat the purpose of being what they are supposed to be, why bother! The same concept goes to everything in life. For instance, if you buy something that you don't need but it was on sale, (my mom does it a lot, but I love her), and you don't use it within 6 months, you will never use and you probably don't need it. Got my drift!!!



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OMG!

The weather is changing like we are in winter wonderland. WTH! The only problem I have is that I have to wait for the bus and the winds blows right in my face. Sometimes I wish I still drive to work and my job is like 5 minutes away. This an hour and a half commute everyday is killing me. But I have to be thankful I have somewhere to commute every morning on weekdays, right! So on days like this, I tell myself to suck it up and "Be a Man!, Do the right thing!" And move on!!!

And let's talk about the infamous bus and train rides. I know its a public transportation but there is always some bitch, yes I said it, some bitch thinking she owns the bus or the train and she wants to push upon me. And the EMILY in me comes out early in the morning. Why must you do this to me people? Why don't you stay in your corner and I don't have to get UGLY!!!



But the rest of you out there, enjoy your day!!!

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Saying goodbye to a wonderful memory that will last forever...

It's been awhile since I've written. I have many things to write about but wasn't too sure how to word it. The last thing I want to do is make the words come out all scattered (just like the way I think, LOL).

Today, I feel the need to say goodbye to this wonderful part of my life. I am sad about it but there is not need for me to hang onto. Its always good to hold onto the memories that are good for your soul but I don't think holding onto this memory is good for me. I can't seem to let go of this person who has crossed my path. I tried many times and it keeps pulling me back. So this is kind of like my eulogy of my feelings for that individual. If I can't let go, I can't move on. Then I will be the only one who is stuck in the past. He does seems to be fine and moving on but I keep replaying things in my head and going back to what ifs.

So now I am saying goodbye to all the feelings that I have. I need to move on and I have to move on. It's not healthy for me. No more what ifs!!!

Where is Waldo?

Okay, I haven't been writing for awhile. Not that someone is literally waiting for me to put up something. Recently, I read blogs that my friend wrote and he put me to shame about what I was writing. I mean, he is good. I never knew he thinks so deeply and it goes beyond my expectations but DAMN, I have to give him credit, HE IS GOOD.

Anyways, I went out to eat with a friend of mine last night. And the next thing we realized there was a guy a table away from us started to talk with his mouth full at first and we wondered where his manners were. Then I realized that he didn't have any food in his mouth and that was just the way he speaks. Geez, do it quietly if you speak that way. That was just plain disgusting.

And then a couple minutes later, someone's ass was ringing and vibrating. It was saying your table was ready and please return the device to the host. Then I realized that they were waiting for a restaurant to seat them but they were dining at the different place already.

OMFG!

Who cares what you didn't do, could have done, should've done. It's what you do now and from now on that really matters.

Sometimes, in life, I think people cry over spilled milk. This is my take on it. I mean you can learn and definitely take notes on mistakes that you have done as a life lesson but there is no crying over it. You pick yourself up and go and don't make the same mistake again.

I , for one, have done my fair and share of mistakes. But do I regret them? No not really. I am a fool, aren't I? I don't think so. Sometimes, that's how I learn from my mistakes. Life is a whole experience thing. I can learn from it and move on.

But I know most people, I have to say most because it is most amount that I know in my life, I know still living in that should have, would have, could have world. They can get out of it but they won't. And I still don't understand why. But I know most common thing everyone would say to me, "Your not in the situation so it's easy for you to say!" Hell no. I am not that old but I am not that young either. You learn and grow from your mistakes. You can't live with them. Move on!!!

When did it all change?

Okay, last week, it was still warm and all of the sudden the freakin weather got cold. I am not ready yet. *sobbing* It's so cold outside. *brrrr* I don't even know where my gloves are. :(

I came to work and I put my little space heater on and I am all great but once I walk away from my desk, I know there is a cold wind waiting for my tropical ass. I can be here forever and I don't think I'll ever be used to the cold. I just close my eyes and wish I am on some island catching rays.

I got an offer that I cannot refuse...well alright, I can refuse, but for me to do that, I am not too sure if I gain or loose something out of it. The thing is that can i do it. That's something I should ponder!!!

Good, Fast, & Cheap

If you want something good and fast, it can't be cheap. If you get something fast and cheap, it won't be good. But I bet you I can get something good, fast and cheap... TRUST ME...

I love that three word in a triangle. I think it applies to many things.

Do we get wiser as we get older or we just get sillier?

As we go through life, I sometimes think people get crazier and crazier. I would think that people show get wiser with all the experiences we all go through in life but not an ounce of chance. I guess it cannot be done to everyone. As long a s I can help myself, I am grateful on my personal growth.

A couple of days has been so crazy for me. It was so bad last night. I was so much in pain and I don't know what to do. But then, the sun rise dawned on me and I am a-OK again. Anyways...I am better today. Somehow, I want my palms read immediately!!! ASAP!!!

I can take you out of your misery...

I don't understand why people walk around with their attitude faces on. I mean not that I care but when their attitude is going around the room, hell yeah its effecting me. I just want to come out and ask them, "Shall I shoot you now or later?" I will and I can take you out of your misery. And they get over their shit and then you are supposed to be all lovey dovey with them. That's when I look at them and give them one of my famous expression...DICK FACE!

The Past

Sometimes...I wonder if it's me who has a short temper and low tolerant or others that make me tick. But then me wondering something that is waste of my time, I got over it and I stop wondering. I used to know people when I was younger...people who I used to go to school with to be exact, they sometimes come to me and say I don't contact them or I have a good life. What the hell are they talking about? Are they saying I have a good life because I am in US? Or are they saying it because I am here with my family? Either way it's not my fault. And how do they know if I have a good life here or not? And being in touch with each other goes both ways. I see all of them contact each other. I feel left out and out of loop but do I say something about that...HELL NO! But what I don't put up with it is when they bring that bullshit to me. I don't have time to entertain all that. You either want to talk to me or not. I am not going to sit here and wonder if I was in their thought. Apparently, I was never in their thoughts as well. But no one ever hear me BITCH about anything. SO DEAL WITH IT!!!

Frustration

I get frustrated when I don't get things when things are just simply layed out for me. *FRUSTRATED* It's pouring cats and dogs out there. I hate it when it happens because it ruins the weekend and MY HAIR. LOL. I did my hair this morning all purty and when I got into work...Poof Gone! Then it's freezing out. Summer is officially over. *sobbing*

I can't wait to go back to Burma to see my family. I haven't been back since 1995. That's too damn long.

Today

Things have been crazy in my life lately. Being pulled in different directions and not having enough time to do things. I feel like I need to go to a Time Management seminar. But then, where would I get that time? :) That would defeat the whole purpose of managing time. What else can I do?



But I need to prioritize things. Not to sound selfish but I am going to put myself first for once.

Staying grounded...

Reflecting on whats been happening...

I know for sure it's good to be grounded. Somehow people surrounding me are not grounded much less of being true to themselves. Things like that make me laugh so I stand back and see everything fall into places as the life unfold itself. And there are people who wants to know all about me but when it comes to them, they are all tight lips. Well...as long as I am in the center of their attention, who care about them, right? LOL.

How can one call themselves a friend and do not act like one. You see that is the reason why I do not use that "friend" word loosely.

Today...I decided that I want to be selfish and I just want to please me. I have been going around and trying to please people and not wanting to hurt their feelings so I have become this somewhat of a fake person which I hate very much. I stay true to myself if I can't do it with anyone else. That's the least I can do for myself. That's how I stay ground!!! :)